5 Reasons Nobody Cares About Your Sex Tape

By: Elizabeth Marie |

sex tape
Is it just me or does it seem like everyone who wants to be someone has a sex tape these days? Case in point-a sex tape staring Farrah Abraham, formerly of MTV’s Teen Mom was released last night, and while it’s already sold more than 2 million copies, I can’t be the only one who is a bit tired of this whole sex tape phenomenon. It’s one thing if you and your man want to record yourselves getting busy, but it’s quite another if you’re a wannabe “celebrity” who leaks a sex tape on purpose in hopes it will launch you to stardom. Stop it, we’re bored! Here’s why:

1. You’re not Kim Kardashian.
I don’t think even Kim K would argue with the fact that her leaked sex tape jump-started her career…whatever that career may be nobody seems to know, but that’s not the point! It worked for her, but there is no guarantee it will work for you. It’s been done, and done, and done.

2 . It’s depressing.
No matter what Farrah or anyone else with a sex tape goes on to do in their life and career, their sex tape will follow like a a dark cloud. Once you’ve masturbated in the backseat of a sedan for the world to see, it’s nearly impossible for the world to ever see anything else when they look at you. I feel like I’m watching a young career begin and end in the duration of a 90 minute sex tape, which isn’t exactly a turn-on.

3. There is a domino effect we can’t ignore.
I love catching up with my parents and friends about what’s happening in my life, at my job, or what I did today. I often wonder what my inner circle would think or say if they woke up on a random Tuesday and 2 million people with a wifi connection had seen me naked overnight. It’s just so awkward for everyone involved, and makes me feel awkward just by watching!

4. We’ve seen it before.
I remember when Paris Hilton’s sex tape came out and the sheer novelty spurred me to watch a few minutes of it and I was like, ehh and also, why is it so green? I mean, if you’ve seen one “leaked” sex tape, haven’t you pretty much seen them all? I’m actually asking here, guys.

5. Desperation isn’t sexy in any form.
No matter how hot you are, or what crazy impressive things you can do with your lady parts, there is still an element of desperation that can’t be ignored when you have sex on film in hopes of attaining fame and fortune. Just like it’s not attractive when a guy begs you for your phone number or when a woman turns into a stage 5 clinger after the first date, sex tapes are quickly becoming the new desperate cry for attention.

Would you ever make a sex tape?