April 25th, 2013 by Elizabeth Marie

How To Stop Getting Your Heart Broken

 Photograph of couple ripped in half

Dating isn’t always all rainbows, puppy dogs and butterflies-hearts get broken, feelings get hurt and it might occasionally feel like love just isn’t in the cards for you. However, if you’re constantly checking into the Heartbreak Hotel or your relationships never seem to last, it might be time for you to change the way you’re dating. Change breeds change and if you want different results when it comes to dating, you’re going to have to start dating differently. Ultimately it’s impossible to prevent ever getting your heart shattered into a million pieces by someone you care about (unfortunately!), but there are definitely things you can do to stop it from happening so often.

Here is how to stop getting your heart broken.

Take responsibility for your actions. Yeah, it’s super easy to blame your bad dating luck on the jerks you’ve dated, but there is one common denominator in all of your failed relationships…YOU. Stop the blame game and take an honest look at the part you’ve played. Are there mistakes you’ve made or unhealthy patterns you need to break? Understanding where you might have gone wrong will not only provide clarity on the whole situation but will also give you a sense of power and control back. You can’t change the behaviors of the people you date, but you can certainly change your own.

Move slower. There is nothing wrong with a whirlwind romance or throwing your better judgement out the window and rolling with what feels right in the moment. Well, nothing wrong with it until you’re heart is broken and you have no idea what just happened. Throwing yourself head-first into relationship after failed relationship might seem like a great way to distract yourself from any hurt you’re feeling, but moving too fast too soon can lead to burnout. Soon, you’ll find yourself stuck in a vicious cycle. If you meet someone you really like, take it slower than usual. Don’t get too invested, and don’t share all of yourself completely. Earn each others trust and commitment and truly get to know each other before letting them have your entire heart. Some people might say to not hold back and to give your heart away if it feels right, but if you’ve had nothing but broken hearts for the last few years or months there is nothing wrong with protecting your heart a bit. Why are you giving it away so easily, anyway?

Go on a dating break. This doesn’t mean that you swear off all interaction with the opposite sex and have to stay locked in your room or join a nunnery, it simply means that you’re switching your focus. Instead of thinking about dating and love all of the time, replace it with something else, something positive that makes you feel good about yourself. Focus on your friends, family, career and hobbies. If someone wonderful happens to cross your path, definitely don’t ignore him…but don’t go searching for him either.

Be crystal clear about what you want. One of the most common causes of a broken heart is disappointment. If you are looking for a serious relationship but the guys you date are only interested in one night stands, of course your heart is going to get broken. Managing your expectations from the beginning and not allowing yourself to get caught up in a fantasy will keep your heart intact. Plus, when you know what you really want, you tend to know exactly where to look for it. Have tunnel vision when it comes to love!

How do you prevent a broken heart?


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Liz

Liz is We Love Dates social media manager. A former marketing account executive in the fashion industry, a bad breakup spurred Liz to start her first blog 5 years ago and she has been happily over-sharing with anyone who will read ever since. Obsessed with all things dating, love and tech, Liz has been referred to as the brunette Carrie Bradshaw on more than one occasion. If it's a day that ends in "Y", most likely you will find Liz furiously typing away on her laptop with a huge espresso nearby. Or two. Follow her every thought on Twitter and Google+.

One Response to “How To Stop Getting Your Heart Broken”

  1. August 17, 2013 at 10:20 pm, Luke said:

    I stubled upon your site by accident and although aimed at women, I have found it very usefull and interesting. Last year I got into a whirlwind relationship with a lady for the first time in nine years, I’ve lots of lady friends (just friends, no benefits as I’m too much of a gent) but no one came close to my wanting to take a chance. It lasted three months and just out of the blue she ended it, I asked what I’d done wrong and she said I was fine, probably the right person for her (I got her through a bad patch), but a week after she was dating another guy who, three months into their relationship got drunk and terrorised her for hours. For a guy who doesn’t get to date often or find women that would be interested in him, do you think there’s a chance that there could be hope, only I sometimes feel my last partner was my last chance (I’m 46 years old and average one date every nine or so years)?

    Reply

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