Dating & Relationship Blog

January 29th, 2013 by Jess Downey

Fears When Meeting the Family

1095627_29984487I don’t know about you, but meeting my boyfriend’s family (and introducing him to mine) has always been a fear of mine. It’s not that I think they won’t like me (come on, I am likable), but, to me, that kind of thing is a pretty big deal and it can be a pretty defining moment in a relationship. So, here are some common fears and how to avoid letting them stress you out.

Your family has a habit of interrogating your dates

My sister asks a lot of questions. It’s not meant in a harsh way, but it’s just because she cares about me and has watched me go through a lot with my crazy dates. So it’s really just her way of getting to know the person I’m with. If you have a similar situation, always remember that your family has your best interest at heart. It might not be bad to gently tell your new gal or guy beforehand. And, chances are, he or she will be able to hold their own during the questioning.

Your parents might not like him/her

It’s true, they might not. But they also might love and adore them too. Try to counteract the negative with positive. Also keep in mind that while they might not like your new love at first, that doesn’t mean they won’t ever like them. Think about it. Haven’t you ever met someone who you didn’t really like at first? But, after getting to actually know them, you kind of love them. The same is true for your parents. Remember that this is just a first meeting. Be patient and give it time.

You’ll be too nervous to function like yourself (or like a normal human being)

Take a deep breath and relax. Keep in mind that your new partner and your parents are probably just as nervous. After all, everyone has their own set of worries when it comes to this kind of thing.

Your family is a bit…well, odd

So is everyone else’s or at least we all think our family is weird. In fact, you probably don’t want to date someone who says “my family is totally normal” because that’s simply not realistic. Remember, your family is a part of you, so if this person really digs you, they will dig your family (or at least be nice enough to tolerate them).

Meeting the family is a big deal

Sometimes the biggest fear when meeting the family is what it all actually means. I recently met my current boyfriend’s family (and he met mine). But we combined the meeting with a trip back to the Midwest for the holidays so it seemed a little more natural since we weren’t planning this huge trip just for that. Think about the way it was years ago when you still lived at home. Your dates would meet your family just because they were coming to pick you up. Try to make meeting the families similar to that. There doesn’t necessarily need to be a “hey I want you to come meet my family” talk. The more nonchalant, the better.

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Jess is a freelance writer and online columnist living in New York City. She recently got engaged to the man of her dreams (whom she met online, of course!) and is always eager to share her online dating tips with the world.

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