Establishing a f*ck buddy situation where you get all the benefits of a relationship (specifically SEX SEX and SEX) but none of the drama (“Why did that girl write on your Facebook wall??” etc) isn’t as easy as it seems. While the idea of sleeping with a friend without the burden of commitment seems appealing to some, when it comes to finding a no strings fuck buddy, most people simply don’t know where to start or what the rules are. Here is a quick guide to getting the most fun out of your f-buddy relationship.
1. Be honest with yourself. Some people end up in f*ck buddy relationships simply because they think it’s all that they can get, or that it’s the best way for the object of their affection to notice them. If you have had a huge crush on your guy best friend for years and you are basically in love with him and have your future wedding planned, hooking up with him won’t make him love you back or establish a connection that wasn’t there before. If you want a serious relationship with someone that goes deeper than sex, a f-buddy situation won’t give you what you need-you might actually end up feeling worse and run the risk of losing the friendship. Don’t assume that sex will lead to more.
However, if a sweaty time between the sheets with a friend is all you’re looking for-game on!
2. Don’t make it weird. F-Buddy hookups are different from simply going home with a stranger from the bar. Chances are you know the other person on some level, and getting naked in front of them for the first time might feel a little bit awkward. Do yourself and your partner a huge favor by not making it even more weird by constantly saying things like, “What does this mean?” or “Will we still be friends tomorrow?” Listen, who knows if you’ll be friends tomorrow-but I do know that asking a guy that while he’s inside you probably isn’t the best way to get him to call you the next day.
3. Choose your F-Buddy wisely! Initially, the idea of sleeping with your hot neighbor or a co-worker sounds like a great idea! How convenient! The sex will basically be at your doorstep…but so will everything else. What if he is dating or sleeping with someone else, and you bump into her in the hallway? What if he says he’s busy one night…but you see his car in the garage and all of his lights on, clearly lying to you? It’s ok to want to be on top of each other, but living on top of one another is a different story. As for the coworker-sure, visions of steamy boardroom hook ups might be dancing in your head, but mixing business with pleasure is never a good idea. Select a F-Buddy who’s living situation or career won’t complicate things.
4. Always protect yourself. It’s always important to use protection in the bedroom, but it’s paramount in a F-Buddy relationship. Remember that no matter how well you think you know your F-Buddy, you aren’t in a serious, monogamous relationship and there is a sky-high chance that he or she is sleeping with other people at the same time.
5. Don’t date or cuddle with your F-Buddy. After a night of amazing sex, you might be tempted to ask your partner to hang out in the daylight…but offering to take them to brunch or asking if they want to catch a matinee is one of the worst things you can do. F-Buddy relationship are sexual-nothing more. Taking the relationship outside of the bedroom can quickly confuse things and cause one of you to feel like you’re in a more serious relationship when you really aren’t. Keep the lines drawn and don’t cross them, and most importantly don’t convince yourself that the relationship is more serious than it is. The same goes for cuddling and pillow talk…sometimes it’s best to just roll over and go to sleep, or even better-kick him out after the deed is done and have the bed all to yourself!
6. Control your emotions. Having a f*ck buddy leads to a lot of intense emotions, and not all of them are positive. One common scenario: You find out your F-Buddy is dating someone else and you become insanely jealous, calling him a cheater or asking him why you’re not enough. It’s impossible to be cheated on by a f*ck buddy though, there are no strings attached, remember? The bright side is that this means you can also date whoever you want, whenever you want, with nobody to answer to at all!
7. Be selfish. When you’re in a serious relationship, you probably put a lot of time and effort into your girlfriend or boyfriend’s happiness in and out of bed. With a f-buddy though, it’s ok to be a bit more selfish. Don’t want them to spend the night after a hot sex session? No big deal, just tell them they need to get up and leave. Aren’t a fan of giving blowjobs? Who cares, you don’t have to just to make him happy. You call the shots, and putting your needs and wants first might feel uncomfortable initially, but remember that you shouldn’t be as giving or open as you would be in a loving, serious relationship. Your only goal is to have as much fun as possible!
Have you ever been in a f-buddy relationship?