Dear Guys, we love you. Really. However, after doing a lot of online dating in December, it’s clear that there a few things you really need to stop doing in 2013. If one of your goals for the New Year is to meet someone great or just up your online dating game, here are a few things you need to stop doing immediately:
1. Taking photos of yourself in the mirror with your cellphone: The self administered cell-phone in the mirror shot has turned into an epidemic. It amazes me how many guys use these kinds of photos in their online dating profiles, even though it’s widely known that girls think they are lame. Whenever I receive a message from a guy who has this kind of photo in his profile, I automatically delete his message. I don’t care if you’re doing it for “ironic reasons.” The cellphone self-portrait sends the message that you don’t care enough about dating or meeting the right person to include a proper photo. Put your best foot forward and have a friend take a few good photos of you – ones that are well-lit and show you looking relaxed & friendly (i.e. actually smiling!) It makes such a huge difference. If you don’t have a friend, family member or even co-worker who can take a few decent photos of you, maybe there are other areas of your life that need attention first before you attempt to bring someone else into the mix.
2. Writing profiles that are way too long, full of grammatical errors, make creepy sexual references or that just don’t make sense. Think of your online dating profile as a resume and cover letter that you’re putting together for a potential employer. The goal is to grab the reader right away, keeping things clear, concise and appropriate. I prefer online dating profiles that are short and sweet. It’s better to leave people wanting more than to reveal too much. I don’t want to read your 1400 word profile that’s devoid of punctuation or written in non-sensical poetry. I also don’t want to read about how much you enjoy sex or women with nice legs. Or, maybe I do – because all of those things make it clear that you’re not someone I want to date. When in doubt, it never hurts to have a trusted friend read over your online dating profile for constructive feedback.
3. Writing formulaic messages and/or messaging a girl repeatedly even though she never writes back. Recently I’ve received about 10 messages from the same guy that said “You should write back to me. You might be glad you did” Gee, thanks! All I can think is “Or I probably wouldn’t be!” If you were looking for a new job would you send the exact same (vaguely threatening) letter to each employer? Of course not! You’d want to take the time to individually tailor your correspondence for each employer to show that you’ve taken time to get to know what they are about. The same applies to online dating. You don’t have to write a novel, just something short and sweet that shows you’ve actually read my profile. If I don’t write back don’t take it personal – it probably means I’m busy or that you’re just not my type.
4. Including people and things in your online dating profile that just shouldn’t be there. For example, you dressed in a Santa suit (even if it’s Christmas), YOUR KIDS, Someone else’s kids, photos of your boat/car/motorcycle or you standing next to a bunch of random scantily clad women. Photos of you in Halloween costumes are also no good. I’d rather see two decent photos of you than 10 photos where in 50% of them you’re dressed as a Zombie, Michael Jackson or a sandwich.
What are some of your top online dating faux pas?