December 31st, 2012 by Simone Paget

What Guys Should Stop Doing In 2013


Dear Guys, we love you. Really. However, after doing a lot of online dating in December, it’s clear that there a few things you really need to stop doing in 2013. If one of your goals for the New Year is to meet someone great or just up your online dating game, here are a few things you need to stop doing immediately:

1. Taking photos of yourself in the mirror with your cellphone: The self administered cell-phone in the mirror shot has turned into an epidemic. It amazes me how many guys use these kinds of photos in their online dating profiles, even though it’s widely known that girls think they are lame. Whenever I receive a message from a guy who has this kind of photo in his profile, I automatically delete his message. I don’t care if you’re doing it for “ironic reasons.” The cellphone self-portrait sends the message that you don’t care enough about dating or meeting the right person to include a proper photo. Put your best foot forward and have a friend take a few good photos of you – ones that are well-lit and show you looking relaxed & friendly (i.e. actually smiling!) It makes such a huge difference. If you don’t have a friend, family member or even co-worker who can take a few decent photos of you, maybe there are other areas of your life that need attention first before you attempt to bring someone else into the mix.

2. Writing profiles that are way too long, full of grammatical errors, make creepy sexual references or that just don’t make sense. Think of your online dating profile as a resume and cover letter that you’re putting together for a potential employer. The goal is to grab the reader right away, keeping things clear, concise and appropriate. I prefer online dating profiles that are short and sweet. It’s better to leave people wanting more than to reveal too much. I don’t want to read your 1400 word profile that’s devoid of punctuation or written in non-sensical poetry. I also don’t want to read about how much you enjoy sex or women with nice legs. Or, maybe I do – because all of those things make it clear that you’re not someone I want to date. When in doubt, it never hurts to have a trusted friend read over your online dating profile for constructive feedback.

3. Writing formulaic messages and/or messaging a girl repeatedly even though she never writes back. Recently I’ve received about 10 messages from the same guy that said “You should write back to me. You might be glad you did” Gee, thanks! All I can think is “Or I probably wouldn’t be!” If you were looking for a new job would you send the exact same (vaguely threatening) letter to each employer? Of course not! You’d want to take the time to individually tailor your correspondence for each employer to show that you’ve taken time to get to know what they are about. The same applies to online dating. You don’t have to write a novel, just something short and sweet that shows you’ve actually read my profile. If I don’t write back don’t take it personal – it probably means I’m busy or that you’re just not my type.

4. Including people and things in your online dating profile that just shouldn’t be there. For example, you dressed in a Santa suit (even if it’s Christmas), YOUR KIDS, Someone else’s kids, photos of your boat/car/motorcycle or you standing next to a bunch of random scantily clad women. Photos of you in Halloween costumes are also no good. I’d rather see two decent photos of you than 10 photos where  in 50% of them you’re dressed as a Zombie, Michael Jackson or a sandwich.

What are some of your top online dating faux pas?

Simone is a freelance writer and author of the sexy and irreverent blog Skinny Dip. When she’s not writing her heart out about everything to do with love, sex and relationships, she loves wandering her city with a large cup of coffee in hand, in search of the next great story. You can visit her blog, follow her on twitter or catch up with her on Facebook. Skinny Dip

3 Responses to “What Guys Should Stop Doing In 2013”

  1. January 01, 2013 at 5:46 pm, Fantasy Dating said:

    These tips are hilarious! But unfortunately, some guys need them. The most annoying online dating faux pas I’ve encountered are the guys who write long emails all about themselves and how awesome they are and don’t ask any questions about me.

    NEXT! ;)

  2. January 01, 2013 at 8:16 pm, Fred said:

    As a guy, I admit that these are great tips!

    But I have to argue slightly with Tip #3. While I do admit that you shouldn’t be messaging a girl ten times and asking them repeatedly to write back, I argue that sometimes guys have no choice BUT to write a formulaic message to women.

    Now let me explain here. I have read my fair share of female profiles. I would honestly say 80% of the profiles I read leave much to be desired. I can list on one hand only the number of profiles I’ve read where I was like WOW! After reading a bunch of profiles I can almost guarantee to see some of the following if not all of these :

    1) I enjoy laughing, and making people laugh
    2) Family and friends are very important to me
    3) I enjoy going out, but also like nights staying in
    4) I want a confident, nice, smart guy
    5) I love music, and music is very important to me

    I’m not saying I want the wittiest profile in the world, but you can tell there is no effort on a girl’s part to be unique or to show off her personality. Because of that, the motivation is not there sometimes for men to really write an individualized profile and truly connect with her. Who knows…maybe I’m the only guy out there actually reading profiles, hoping for a girl to give me something to talk to her about.

    This also brings me to the next problem. It’s fair to share that men usually are the first to message a woman. Thats how it should be. Anyway I had many times that I found a woman to be interesting and do write a message specific to her profile. Thats cool and all, but I guess guys are slightly jaded because we will not get ANY response back. Now yes, I do get responses back I would say 40-50% of the time though, but still, after a while, it hurts your soul not to hear back from someone you’re really hoping to talk to more. I may not hard to hear, but for men this is a numbers game. We have to message a fair amount of women not to just get her number or to meet her, but to actually get a response. This is a male’s reality.

    Anyway just my two cents from a male’s perspective. I do realize that girls actually run into a ton of creepy guys on these dating sites, so I know they need to be defensive and screen the guys they talk to. However, I do believe there are some important things that girls can do on their end as well! :-)


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