Dating & Relationship Blog

November 16th, 2012 by Jamie Ann

What to do when your children are grown and don’t want you dating

A happy aged couple surfing on a laptop

You’re a parent. You might have older children – but they aren’t really children any more. They are adults in the 20s or 30s and they definitely have an opinion on everything, especially you dating. Also, they are worried about you. Now it’s their turn to feel like they need to take care of you after you’ve been taking care of them for so long.

Whether you’re divorced or widowed – whatever the case may be, you might be lonely. No matter the circumstances of what led you to where you are, don’t you still have the right to be happy? Shouldn’t you be able to share your life with someone now that you’re done, so to speak, putting in all the work in raising kids?

Here’s the thing. It’s not that your children don’t want you to be happy. They are feeling protective. Letting someone new into that close family circle is a hard thing to process after things have been one way for such a long time. They aren’t trying to deny you companionship. They just probably aren’t ready for you to meet someone, even if YOU are.

So, let’s address their concerns.

They are worried about you, scared you might get hurt or someone could take advantage of you, so take the time to explain to them that you understand where they are coming from and you are being cautious and always will be.

Let your children know that no one could ever replace their mother or father, but this is about wanting companionship. They should understand that since they are grown now, it’s possible you’re lonely and miss having someone around.

Also, you’ve spent all of their lives trying to make sure that they have been happy. Now it’s time for them to realize that this is your time for happiness and this will help you. They will understand because they know they would never want to deny you your happiness after all you’ve done for them.

Lastly, just remember that this is new territory for everyone. It might get a little weird and take some time getting used to, but it will work out. Everyone wants the best for each other, so keep that in mind when everyone may be protesting.

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Jamie Villarreal is a writer and social media strategist based in Chicago, where she lives with the most adorable corgi in the world. She has a ridiculous addiction to fountain coke, but is also a kick ass paleo cook. You can usually find Jamie tweeting over at @jamieann and on Google+, so follow her there and keep up with the latest at Jamie-Ann.com.

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