Breakups are often heart crushing but they can also great opportunities for personal development. If you’ve just broken up with someone here are 10 things to do right now:
1. Let yourself have all the feeeeeelings: It’s OK to feel sad, angry, confused or lost. Instead of running away from how you’re feeling, allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, acknowledge it and then move on. From personal experience, this is so much better than acting like everything is OK and drowning your sorrows in a bottle(s) of Pinot Grigio (although there’s definitely a time and place for that as well!)
2. Spend time with friends and stay busy: Everyone needs a support network. Your friends love and care about you – spend time with them! Plan some girls nights together, reconnect over cocktails and have fun! Keeping busy and having an active social life is a great way to distract yourself from the temporary pain of a breakup.
3. Get a haircut: Ahhhh, never underestimate the power of the post-breakup haircut. I’m all about “out with the old, in with the new.” After I split with someone, one of the first things I do is schedule a trip to salon. Some pampering will make you feel and look fabulous.
4. Talk to someone: If you find you’re having a hard time dealing with the aftermath of a relationship, don’t be afraid to seek out professional help. Honestly, deciding to talk to someone after I went through a big break-up was one of the best decisions I ever made. A trained counsellor can help you put your feelings in perspective and help you move forward – which might be exactly what you need right now.
5. Pamper yourself: Why stop at just a haircut? Take some time to be good to yourself – whether that’s getting a pedicure or just treating yourself to a nice bubble bath, a little bit of pampering is never a bad thing.
6. Make a post-breakup to-do list: Making lists has always been a great way to help me focus. Think of all the things you’ve ever wanted to do – learn Spanish, finally ask out that cute guy/girl who works at your gym, volunteer, read 50 books in one year, travel to Brazil – and start making them happen. Even if you can’t make all of these a dreams a reality right away, making a list of fun things you want to do in life is a great way to get yourself excited about the future.
7. Spend time working on you: You can’t expect someone to love you if you don’t love yourself first, so take this time to really focus on making yourself happy. This is a great time to tackle some personal projects that you might have put off because you were too busy, or take that yoga/french cooking/martial arts class you always wanted to try but never did. Make it the fall/winter/year of you. Worst case scenario you’ll come out of the experience with some interesting new skills and stories.
8. Get healthy: Eating healthy and working not only makes you look good, it makes you feel good. Although it’s tempting to gorge yourself on Hagen Daaz while watching rom-coms on the couch, eating healthy and staying active is going to make you feel way better in the long run.
9. Do something nice for someone else: One of the best ways to get over your own pain is by doing something nice for someone else. Volunteer at a local charity, help wrap Christmas presents for kids in need, or cook someone else a meal. Doing something that makes someone else happy is an excellent way to get you out of your own head – plus, happiness is contagious!
10. Do something crazy: Whether it’s buying something ridiculously indulgent (Oh hi, Louboutin peep-toe pumps!) or finally planning that soul-searching trip to India, the time following a break-up is the perfect time to do something you’ve always wanted to do…even if it seems a bit crazy.