With Halloween fast approaching, there is an onslaught of costume ideas popping up for couples. Christian and Anastasia! Kim and Kanye! Mitt Romney and Big Bird! If you’re flying solo this year though, it might seem that your options are limited to either wearing skanky lingerie and calling yourself a “bunny”, paying an absurd amount of money for a naughty nurse outfit or dressing up in a group with your girlfriends as an m&m or something. But fear not! Here are four Halloween costumes catered to single women.
Single and Ready To Mingle
Sure, you could go the Beyonce route, but how many single ladies do you know who run around in awesome black leotards? Instead, keep it a bit more realistic. You could wear your comfiest yoga pants and carry around a pint of Ben and Jerrys (totally what I would do, by the way) or sass it up. Put on your spanx, push the girls out and up and slip into your favorite first date outfit. Flirt like it’s your J-O-B. If it’s not obvious what your costume is, wear a sign that subtly says “I’m single. Buy me a drink.”
Let that mascara run, girl! Spray an old boyfriend’s sweatshirt with cologne and pair it with sweats. Don’t brush your hair. Bonus points if you carry around a highlighted copy of “He’s Just Not That Into You” and your first words to anyone you see are “Do you think he misses me?”
The Smug Girlfriend
Similar to Bridget Jones’ Smug Marrieds, this costume requires a satisfied smile and a permanent air of superiority, or rather relief that you aren’t single anymore! Whew-dodged that bullet, didn’t ya?! Bring along a blow-up doll that is the spitting image of your man and an iTunes play-list FULL of songs that remind you about him. Don’t miss any chance to tell the story of how you met! Make sure you’re on your phone constantly texting him how much you miss him and exclaiming “Awwwwww!” when you get his response.
The Independent Woman
You are far too busy and important to be bothered with men and their nonsense. Dating is not high on your list of priorities right now, and you’re enjoying being focused on yourself! Of course, this means that every guy at the Halloween party will be drawn to you like a magnet. That’s just how it goes! If you can’t handle all the attention, a nice henna tattoo that says “Not interested” should do the trick. This costume doesn’t require anything fancy-it’s all about your attitude…girl, you’re over it.
What are you dressing up as this Halloween?