August 17th, 2012 by Jenn

4 Tips on How to Date a Shy Guy

 

As a full-blown extrovert myself, I find it difficult to date men who don’t have the same energy level or outgoing nature. (For what it’s worth, I’m sure they find it equally challenging to date me!) But writing off “shy guys” entirely seems like a terrible strategy. Instead, I’ve come up with 4 tips on dating shy guys:

1. Become friends. It is so much easier to get to know someone under the auspices of friends rather than romantic partners. There’s less pressure and if it doesn’t work out romantically, then there could still be a foundation for friendship there. I think this works best with men who might not jump to the conclusion that you’re interested in them – maybe they’ve been hurt in the past or maybe they’re not used to the attention, or maybe they just don’t default to romance. Whatever the reason, befriending him first will give you both more insight into whether or not this could turn into a romantic pursuit.

2. Be patient… A lot of men hesitate to make the first move for fear of rejection, which is totally understandable. I feel the same way, which is why it’s so hard for me to be the one to move first! If a guy is second guessing himself or unsure of where you stand, he is going to want to be certain he’s doing the right thing before attempting to take things to the next level. You might be able to help this process along by being straightforward and dropping hints, but until he feels comfortable with things, it might not happen.

3. …Or be aggressive! I definitely don’t believe that men should be responsible for making the first move every time. If a girl likes someone, she should absolutely ask him out and initiate the relationship. If you feel comfortable doing that, then bypass all the waiting and go for it!

4. Give them their space. Even as an extrovert I still need time to relax and recharge. Introverts, quiet folks and generally shy people need even more of that. I know that my energy exhausts some of my more relaxed friends, so I try to keep myself in check when they’re around. I enjoy their company and toning it down a bit is definitely worth it to spend time with them. Same goes for relationships – if your nature is to be boisterous and loud all the time, just make sure the other person has some time to recover.

Have you ever dated someone shy? Are you shy?

Jenn is a northern transplant currently living and dating in Atlanta, Georgia. She keeps herself entertained with weekly trivia nights, a kickball league, and cozying up to her DVR full of crime dramas. A blogger for over four years now, she’s not sure how she would communicate if she couldn’t share her life stories with strangers on the internet. For advice and words of wisdom in 140 characters or less, you can find her on twitter at @jenniferalaine and Google+.

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