July 24th, 2012 by Jenn

Kissing on the First Date – Yes or No?

Do you kiss on the first date?

Kind of a blunt question, but an important one to think about! For me, the answer is sometimes. Sometimes, if I’m feeling particularly excited and flirty about the guy I’m with, or we had a really great time, or we’ve been friends for a while and this is the first step towards a different kind of relationship for us.

But by default? No, I don’t kiss on the first date and I don’t think it should be expected.

For many of who are online dating, the first date is the first time we’ve ever heard someone’s voice and seen them in person. A minute before your date showed up, he or she was still a stranger. A stranger who you had read about online and emailed back and forth with, maybe, but still more of a stranger than an acquaintance. I usually don’t kiss strangers a few hours after meeting them, so why does labeling this encounter a date change that?

A first date with someone you meet online is almost like a half-date. That first meeting is usually casual and the purpose is to get to know the other person when neither of you are hiding behind a computer screen. Very rarely have any of my first online dates been a romantic or intimate affair. I don’t usually fall head over heels for someone, or even get butterflies in my stomach within hours of knowing them. And I usually don’t want to kiss people I don’t get butterflies for, right?

(Of course, all of these rules and preferences go out the window when it comes to someone I  really like.)

When it comes down to it and I examine my dates over the past year or so, I was very rarely disappointed when there was no first date kiss and very often put off when there was.

How do you guys feel about the First Date Kiss? Is it always a green light? Always a red light? What are your paramets?

Jenn is a northern transplant currently living and dating in Atlanta, Georgia. She keeps herself entertained with weekly trivia nights, a kickball league, and cozying up to her DVR full of crime dramas. A blogger for over four years now, she’s not sure how she would communicate if she couldn’t share her life stories with strangers on the internet. For advice and words of wisdom in 140 characters or less, you can find her on twitter at @jenniferalaine and Google+.

2 Responses to “Kissing on the First Date – Yes or No?”

  1. July 25, 2012 at 12:08 pm, Goomena@Online Dating Site said:

    Just go with the flow! No reason to flag it with green or red lights. Just don’t be pressured into kissing or not kissing. If you feel like it, go with it!

    Reply

  2. September 09, 2012 at 6:24 pm, bob said:

    Honestly… when I have met women online and there was no first date kiss there rarely was a second date, let alone more beyond that.

    It’s not because I am pushy or aggressive — just the opposite. I don’t even attempt a kiss unless I’m pretty sure she wants me to. I have just found that when I’ve asked women out for a second date where no kiss happened on the first one, they usually weren’t interested.

    We could all speculate why that was (I certainly have) but I doubt there is a catch-all answer. But what I’m left with is the feeling that if nothing romantic happens on the first date — such as a kiss — then there is no romance there.

    I wish that weren’t the case; a single date isn’t really enough time to decide much.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Follow Us

Keep up-to-date on the latest relationship advice by following us on social media websites:

Our Sites

Niche sites specifically dedicated to finding you your soulmate

Free Ebook

Receive a bi-weekly recap, with exclusive content & offers just for subscribers!