July 9th, 2012 by Elizabeth Marie

What To Do When You Fall Madly In Love With a Friend

I have a history of falling in love with my guy friends.  I’m pretty sure it’s because I’ve seen one too many cheesy romantic comedies where the “friends” always discover in some uber dramatic fashion that they are meant to be soulmates and more than friends. Plus, I genuinely LIKE my guy friends. They are the kind of men any woman would be lucky to love, including, I thought, myself. Sometimes though, friends should just stay friends! Here are the things I’ve learned about falling in love with a friend.

1. Sometimes, it’s best to keep it to yourself. When you start developing feelings for a friend, your initial reaction might be to tell him immediately, so that you can start living happily ever after already. A better plan is to use your best judgement-just because someone cares about you as a friend does not mean that he will, or is obligated to, love you as more than that. If he is in a relationship, or otherwise off limits, manage your expectations and prepare yourself for your feelings not to be reciprocated.

2. Understand that it will be weird. If you declare your undying love for your friend, and they don’t share your sentiments, it can be difficult to fall right back into your “normal” friendship. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible to be great friends again, but recognize that things might feel a bit awkward for a while.

3. Friends are better as friends. Many times, we construct a bit of a fairytale idea in our head about our friends of the opposite sex. Since they’re such great friends, surely they will be an amazing boyfriend, we assume…except for not so much. Being a great friend is much different than being a wonderful significant other. You might think you’re head over heels with your BFF until you realize that he has zero communication skills and is a terrible kisser. Sometimes, it’s just better to be in the friend-zone.


Liz is We Love Dates social media manager. A former marketing account executive in the fashion industry, a bad breakup spurred Liz to start her first blog 5 years ago and she has been happily over-sharing with anyone who will read ever since. Obsessed with all things dating, love and tech, Liz has been referred to as the brunette Carrie Bradshaw on more than one occasion. If it's a day that ends in "Y", most likely you will find Liz furiously typing away on her laptop with a huge espresso nearby. Or two. Follow her every thought on Twitter and Google+.

2 Responses to “What To Do When You Fall Madly In Love With a Friend”

  1. July 10, 2012 at 12:30 am, AccordingtoJewels said:

    Love this. There have been a lot of times when I have crushed on male friends (I won’t say love but you get the idea). I agree that when you hang out a lot, get to know them without the romantic intentions, and they can let walls down around you (and you with them) that sometimes you see something you didn’t before and BAM before you know it you realize you really like them.

    It is always strange once you realize this to go on like you haven’t. I usually say nothing except to make it clear that “hey, I’m single and kinda wish I could find a good guy.” but not more than that. If that doesn’t but a “hey why aren’t we together” bug in their ear I’m not going to push.

    Great advice. :)

    • July 10, 2012 at 7:44 pm, Bella said:

      Totally Jewels! It tends to sneak up on us ha…but sometimes yep, they are just better off as friends!

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