I have a history of falling in love with my guy friends. I’m pretty sure it’s because I’ve seen one too many cheesy romantic comedies where the “friends” always discover in some uber dramatic fashion that they are meant to be soulmates and more than friends. Plus, I genuinely LIKE my guy friends. They are the kind of men any woman would be lucky to love, including, I thought, myself. Sometimes though, friends should just stay friends! Here are the things I’ve learned about falling in love with a friend.
1. Sometimes, it’s best to keep it to yourself. When you start developing feelings for a friend, your initial reaction might be to tell him immediately, so that you can start living happily ever after already. A better plan is to use your best judgement-just because someone cares about you as a friend does not mean that he will, or is obligated to, love you as more than that. If he is in a relationship, or otherwise off limits, manage your expectations and prepare yourself for your feelings not to be reciprocated.
2. Understand that it will be weird. If you declare your undying love for your friend, and they don’t share your sentiments, it can be difficult to fall right back into your “normal” friendship. This doesn’t mean it’s impossible to be great friends again, but recognize that things might feel a bit awkward for a while.
3. Friends are better as friends. Many times, we construct a bit of a fairytale idea in our head about our friends of the opposite sex. Since they’re such great friends, surely they will be an amazing boyfriend, we assume…except for not so much. Being a great friend is much different than being a wonderful significant other. You might think you’re head over heels with your BFF until you realize that he has zero communication skills and is a terrible kisser. Sometimes, it’s just better to be in the friend-zone.