How To Get a Response When Online Dating

Alright, gentleman…this one’s for you. Words of wisdom from the fabulous single girlie!

Greetings, We Love Date-ians! It’s singlegirlie here, it’s my first post here on this lovely site and I’m tickled hot pink.

I asked my Twitter followers what topics they’d like to read about on an online dating site’s blog, and one jovial chap replied, “How about how to get a fuckin’ response?”

I thought such a spirited request deserved some recognition, and thus the topic of this post was born. (I modified the F-word in the title, so as not to get you fired should your boss walk by. See? I got your back.)

As you may already know, girls on online dating sites receive far more messages than their male counterparts. So sometimes you’re just not going to get a reply, and that’s the deal. Maybe you’re not her type, maybe she’s met someone, maybe she took some really bad acid and is now only attracted to horses. No need to be bitter, just move on.

But, while it is important to remember that not everyone will respond and there is no such thing as a guaranteed response online dating, I can offer some tips to give you an edge over the poor sap who is at this moment hitting “refresh” on his inbox again instead of doing something productive like reading this helpful blog.

Your Message Matters

Most people understand how important first impressions are, so I’m always puzzled at the number of messages I receive that stimulate my gag reflex.

There are three types of e-mails that women see more often than not. These make me want to just throw in the towel and stop shaving my legs permanently.

1. The Quickie.
The quickie generally consists of less than three words. Examples include:

a) Hey, wut up?
b) Hi (insert generic smiley face/wink)
c) You’re pretty.

Messages like these a) give me nothing to respond to and b) make me think you are a dumb git with nothing to say. Please, write at least three sentences so that we know you are literate.

2. The Almanac.
While the three-word message is far more common, every now and then someone takes the opposite route and writes a master’s thesis. In this case, I may not think you stupid, but an overzealous nut with too much time on his hands. I don’t need a full bio. Keep it to one short paragraph — more than three words, less than the full Harry Potter series.

3. The Copy & Paste.
Some men type out a couple generic paragraphs describing who they are, then copy and paste it into every message they send. I can spot these a mile away, and I envision you sending it to 30 women a day. These are so devoid of charm you sound like a robot. And I imagine robot penises to be uncomfortable, so I delete.

Alright, bitch, what should I write?

I’m so glad you asked! Picture this: you’re browsing through profiles when you come across the girl of your dreams. Hopefully you’ve looked beyond her rack and actually read her profile. This is a tip, in fact: read her profile. This will give you some guidance when crafting a message to her. Bring up something she wrote in her profile that piqued your interest. Example:

“Hi there. Wanted to pop by and say hello. I see you like camping. Have you ever been to Lake Makahooky? It’s really beautiful. I went last year and actually spotted a Moose! What are some other great spots you’ve visited?”

This works because a) you’re letting her know you looked at more than her photos, b) you asked a couple questions, which gives her something to reply to, and c) you are talking about a subject you know she likes.

It’s simple if you think about it. It just takes a small amount of effort, and isn’t it worth it for the girl of your dreams? Or, as my follower put it, a fuckin’ response?

However, you’re not done yet. Even more important than your message is your profile. But I’m over my word count, so if you want to know what a good online dating profile looks like, mosey on over to my blog and read the post I wrote about it here.

Questions? Write ‘em down in the comments and I’ll do my best to reply. See? You can get a girl to respond on an online dating site. Cheerio!