March 27th, 2013 by Jenn
5 Ways to Have a Successful ‘Rebound’ Relationship
The traditional interpretation of a rebound relationship makes it seem like an inevitable, messy and emotional component of any breakup. It’s earned its negative connotation by being exploited in tv shows and movies, characterized by one night stands and disrespectful treatment of the rebound participant. It conjures images of men using women for easy sex, and women attaching themselves to men like a stage-5 clinger.
But not all rebounds are this distasteful, and in fact, some are actually helpful. They can provide a much needed self-esteem boost, serve as a reminder that there is a future out there and you will not be alone forever, and be a stop-gap for some hard-to-break relationship habits. You just have to go about them in the right way.
Recognize it for what it is. There’s no shame in needing some temporary companionship – after an intense relationship ends, there’s going to be some withdrawl from your couple habits – cooking dinner together, spooning at night, Saturday morning dog walks, etc. It makes sense to fill some of the holes left by your former partner, but don’t allow yourself to ignore what is happening and convince yourself that you’re fine.
Choose your rebound partner wisely. For example, if you’re a guy who just got out of a 4 year relationship and you know you need some time to grow and learn on your own, don’t begin a casual rebound relationship with a woman who has been single for a couple years and is eager to start a family and settle down. That’s disrespectful to her, and it will end in disaster for both of you. Choose someone who is looking for the same things you are – something fun and casual and short term – and make sure they’re aware of what you’re looking for.
Set some boundaries. Your rebound fling doesn’t have to meet your friends or your parents, they don’t need to accompany you to weddings or engagement parties, and they certainly don’t need to be identified as your significant other. These things lead to a slippery slope that gets messy quickly, and when you’re trying to recover from a break up – and trying to not be disrespectful to your rebound – the less complicated the better.
Keep your expectations low. Rebounds are great for the post-break up phase while you find your footing and come to accept your status as a newly single guy or gal. They might lead to a happily-ever-after in the movies, but since when has Hollywood depicted real life in an accurate way? Don’t expect your rebound to turn into your true love, because chances are you’ll be disappointed.
Don’t rub it in your ex’s face. This one is commone sense – don’t be an asshole.
Have you ever had a successful rebound relationship? How did it end?