How to bounce back after a break-up…

Most of us have been there: the end of a relationship, with all of its crying in the bathroom or at your desk, the inability to eat anything but candy and fast food (or not eat at all), and the seemingly never-ending sadness.

It’s the worst.

Thankfully, you’re smart and gorgeous — I can tell. And you’re going to get through this!

Here’s how:

Get rid of the ex, for reals. Unfriend on Facebook, unfollow on Twitter and Instagram, delete their number from your phone, don’t show up to places where you know they’ll be, and definitely don’t do any weird “showing up at work” thing. Just cut all ties. Later on, if you’re sure you can be just friends, you can re-open that door, but in the wake of the breakup, say goodbye.

Let yourself feel bad, but give it a timeline. Break-ups hurt, and they require some mourning. Allow yourself to feel the sadness, listen to the songs that remind you of them, and weep openly. But give yourself a timeline: a few days for a short relationship, a few weeks for those that lasted a few years. There’s nothing wrong with wallowing, but after a certain point, you should start making an effort to let things go a bit.

Put yourself on a dating hiatus. No dating! Not until you’re really ready. Have you ever interacted with someone who was very clearly not over their relationship: mentioning their ex, checking their phone, and the worst, showing total bitterness toward your gender as a whole because they’ve been scorned? Don’t be that person. You’re better than that. Give yourself a month or two off. Go out with friends, see the movies your ex never wanted to see or go on vacation. Just no dating. And that includes hooking up! Just take a break. It’ll help you heal.

Ask your friends to help and have tons of fun. Sad times are what friends are for. Ask for help. Let your friends take you out, buy you drinks and be your friends! That’s what they’re there for! Spend time with them. Let them take care of you. Return the favor another time. But don’t hesitate to reach out.

Treat yourself. It’s easy to throw on sweats and old t-shirts, to stuff your face with ice cream and to let yourself go. Instead, treat yourself to some nice, new clothes and delicious and healthy food. Invest in yoga classes or that kickboxing place you’ve wanted to try out. Now is the time to form healthy new habits that benefit you. Side bonus: is there anything better than looking hot when you run into your ex? NOPE.

Help others. One of the best things you can do when you’re sad is to help others. Find a place to volunteer! Spend time with a friend or family member who could use your time and help them out. Getting your mind off of your own sadness and helping others is a great way to make a difference in your life, and theirs.

Remember your own awesomeness. It’s so easy to take rejection from another human being as a sign that you are somehow anything less than amazing. Not true! You can’t make someone choose to be with you, but you can choose YOU. Remind yourself of all of the great things about yourself. Make a list, write it on Post-It’s and put them all over the house. You have amazing things to offer! Don’t let a breakup make you forget that.

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