October 4th, 2011 by jenn
Why I Chose Online Dating using Match.com
Fresh off of a six-month long Match.com subscription, I’m full of opinions and stories and frustrations. As a brand new contributor to WeLoveDates.com, you are now my audience with whom I will share all of the gory details. Lucky you!I signed up for Match back in March, in a fit of self-pity as I sat on my couch one Friday night thinking about my relationship that had ended two months prior. He seemed to be moving on, and I seemed… Stuck. Stuck in that pattern of living my life as if I wasn’t sad or heartbroken, and then having one silly little reminder come and suck the wind right out me. I’m sure you all can relate to that feeling, right?So I refused to be stuck and I chose online dating as my way to get unstuck. I don’t think I had any expectations; after all, it wasn’t the first break-up I had experienced. I knew I needed time to move on and process and all of that fun, introspective stuff that I hate doing. But I hoped, at least, that someone would provide a distraction for me, give me back those butterflies I had forgotten about and remind me that dating is fun and men are not evil.
It didn’t exactly go as I had planned.
I had plenty of emails and winks and profile views. Men added me to their list of Favorites and I could see them checking back on my profile to see if I had logged in and read their email. It was all very flattering and exciting… for five days. And then it became exhausting.
Every profile I read was the same. Every email I received started with “You seem really interesting” and ended with “Let me know if you want to chat some time.” Few people managed to capture my attention well enough to even warrant a response, and 95% of my emails did not get a reply.
You may think I was being harsh, and maybe you’re right. Maybe some guys didn’t translate well to a dating profile. Maybe my standards were too high. Those are all valid arguments when deciding on a gym membership, or searching your closet to find The Perfect Dress to wear to that wedding so you don’t have to drop $200 on a new one. But dating is different. Dating requires my time and my effort and my interest, all of which I value very highly and none of which I’m willing to waste on something my gut tells me is not worth it.
Instead, I was highly selective. I chose my dates carefully and though none of them turned into anything serious (and more often than not, they ended in disaster) I managed to learn a lot. For that reason and that reason alone, I’m grateful for the experience. It helped me move on from my past relationship and helped me clarify what I want in future ones. It was worth it.
What are your reasons for choosing online dating? Reasons against it? I’d love to hear other people’s experiences, either on Match.com, WeLoveDates.com or any other dating site!
October 04, 2011 at 6:43 pm, Maria said:
I enjoyed reading this blog because it made me feel like I’m not the only one who thinks that I should be very selective with online dating. Although even being selective still doesn’t guarantee it’s going to be great. I have also been on great dates but the relationship usually ended quickly and sometimes ending in disaster. I chose online dating because I work full time and I’m a single mom so it’s really hard to meet new people. I also find guys my age want to start a family of their own so that makes it a little difficult. However, like Jenn I think it was and continues to be a great experience and it has certainly made me think of what I want out of a relationship.
October 05, 2011 at 9:43 am, my honest answer said:
Oooh this is so interesting! I hope you’re saving some of the disaster stories for us over the coming weeks, you have to tell us everything!
And I totally agree with being highly selective. Don’t settle!
October 05, 2011 at 2:58 pm, Blitzkrieg Dating said:
I find match.com increasingly difficult to secure a date with. Maybe it’s a difference in style? I dunno but it never seems to work for me
)