You’re Not Crazy, Getting Dumped is as Bad as Giving Up Drugs

Getting dumped has to be about the worst thing ever, right? Even when you know it’s coming and when you even agree with the decision to go your separate ways, getting dumped feels about as bad as losing your best friend, giving up chocolate, or starting your life completely over. Turns out, there is good reason for that. A new report on CNN says that “the brutality of loving someone who has rejected you has a biological underpinning.” That means your brain actually craves the person you were with on a biological level.

In other words, you can’t help it. You think of them, you want them, you’re sad…. and it’s not your fault. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the person was right for you, or that ending your relationship was the wrong decision. What it does mean is that you have to be extra kind to yourself in allowing time to get over your break up. Here are some tips to making the transition from “broken up” to “moved past it” a bit smoother.

Give it Time!

The first time that recently broken up folks tend to do is try and either get back with their ex or move on immediately to someone else. The problem with getting back with the person (who is probably feeling just as badly as you are) is that there was a reason you broke up. You aren’t right for each other. So try and avoid this unless you really, really believe ending your relationship was a huge mistake.

Moving on to someone else might seem like a good idea, but the problem with that is your brain needs time to process your break up. You need time to fully get over your ex relationship, so you don’t bring all the baggage and hurt into your new one. Think of spending some time alone as a way to way to make sure your very best self is available to meet the right person this time.

Don’t Second Guess Your Decision

While you might want to believe that you are “undateable” now that someone has dumped you, don’t get caught up in this thinking. Getting dumped is no personal reflection on you at all, rather, it simply means that you and your ex would be better with other people.

Be Good to Yourself

Many people spend some time after a break up crying and not eating right. If you’re sad, let your emotions out. But also remember to exercise, eat right, and spend time with friends. In short, be good to yourself! A break up doesn’t define you, so make sure you take care to get your bearings again before heading off into the dating world.