Hi, I’m Liz and I’m now a rebound girl.
Meaning, I like him. A lot. He likes me a lot. But he just got out of a relationship, a three year, messy, disastrous relationship that just ended, literally. I find myself constantly being there for him, lifting him up, making him laugh and smile and investing. But it’s not always reciprocated. I told myself I wouldn’t fall, I never intended to…the first couple of times we hung out I wanted to stab my eyes out with a fork because all he did was talk about her, going around around in circles and really, at that point-what can you say?
I wanted to say, “She was a horrible bitch and you are better off”, but kicking him when he’s down isn’t my style. I wanted to be his friend, and that’s it. We have history, we’re there for each other.
Now I feel like I’m straight out of the Taylor Swift song, “You Belong With Me” and I never thought I’d be here. Friends tell me not to talk to him, hang out with him, be there for him, but I can’t stop. Part has got to be masochistic, but the other part-I really care about this guy. If I’m being completely honest, I want to tell him that I think he hung the moon. That he’s wonderful. That I see us together happy, and that I would never treat him the way she did.
I don’t want to be used though-I don’t want him to know he’ll get what he needs from me (not physically), but emotionally, mentally, etc…heal, and then move on to someone else. I need to pull the reins in a little. I need him to heal on his own for him to see things clearly-to see me clearly.
Until then, I’m Liz. And I’m changing my mind. I’m not a rebound girl.
A true friend stabs you in the front.
I wouldn’t consider it kicking when he’s down, but he may definitely take it the wrong way if you reveal your true feelings. Also… from experience, when I was coming out of a super, wicked, nasty, finding out my fianceé was leaving me for her coworker episode I was nothing close to my true self for months. Once he’s back on his feet and you still dig him in less pathetic form, I say give it a spin. It’s tough to not want to help the wounded puppy, but holy crap is that a weak foundation for any relationship.
All the obvious aside, I’m really stoked you’re respecting yourself enough to avoid the common pitfall. Kudos, lady!
I’ve been that girl, you know the one that watches the wrong girl hurt your right guy then under the guise of “being there” gets sucked in. It’s a tough spot to be in, always caught between your own desires to be seen and your urge to be a suportive.
You can’t be the the band-aid, you can’t be the one that gets drained emotionally time and time again. Healing takes time and he needs to do it on his own. It’s to easy to use someone when you’re hurting.
Good luck and good for you that you have the good sense to not let yourself be the rebound girl.
I’m so proud of you!
On to the next, on to the next.
Good girl!
You know what we call the Rebound Girl in the East…Spare tyres
Great article……………..i really agree with you……………
Good luck and good for you that you have the good sense to not let yourself be the rebound girl.
If he talks about the ex at all, it is still too fresh in his mind. A good match knocks that out of the conversation at first sight.