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July 29th, 2010 by Liz
New Beginnings and Butterflies
These are THE butterflies.
Oh, I’ve been around, I know all the different kinds of butterflies. These are the ones that are so good I can’t eat, can’t stop thinking about you. These are the butterflies that leave me sitting on my bed wishing I could smell you, feel you, loose myself in you, missing you with an ache so strong I can feel it in every, single part of my body. The butterflies that don’t just flutter, they whirl and tremble and quiver, and as my heart pounds, I think….yes. These are the butterflies that have always lead to something…something meaningful, and life changing. These are the you are more than just a one night thing kinda butterflies, baby.
He says things like “Just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking about what an amazing woman you are and how the thought of you warms my soul.” I had a bad dream and he was there…He calls me cuppycake. We have plans made, things to do, everywhere I go I wish he was with me, and he consumes my every thought from sweet to scandalous. These are the butterflies where two end up becoming one.
These are also the butterflies that terrify me. The other kinds, sure they flutter, but I control them. Those butterflies are my bitches. The butterflies I have now…part of me wants to run but they will catch me, and I just want to run to you, anyway.
I don’t fucking want these butterflies if they are slowly, painfully, one by one, going to drop from the sky and die. Maybe in 6 months, maybe in 3 years, whatever. I don’t want them if they aren’t going to fade into something better…something lasting, strong, healthy and safe. I want them to go away so bad sometimes.
But not as bad as I want you. Here. Now. Forever?
These are THE butterflies.
New beginnings are always exciting. And scary.
July 29, 2010 at 10:13 pm, siovhan said:
so excited for you! everyone deserves those butterflies. the over the fence, out of the park, world series kinda thing.