How Much Alone Time is Normal?

One of the keys to a successful relationship is the time a couple spends together. The flip side of that, of course, is how much time the couple spends apart. Every relationship needs the balance of shared time with some solitary moments. But how much is right? It’s different for every couple, but here are some tips to decide which is right for you and your man.

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A Little Longing Is Good

When it comes to balance, a little distance from your man does make you want and appreciate the time you’re with him all the more. So if you’re looking forward to seeing your guy, that’s good. If you’re beside yourself with alone time and feeling lonely, that’s not. To develop a healthy relationship, you must engage with hobbies and friends away from your man.

Your Man is Happy and You’re Not

If your man thinks the amount of time you spend apart is perfect while you, on the other hand, are feeling like you need more, you need to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Are you being unreasonable with the amount of time you spend together? Do you not have enough self-confidence to be alone?

If you feel that you’re self-assured in your solitary time and yet still feel that you don’t get enough time from your man, it’s time for a talk with him. He might have different ideas about what a healthy relationship looks like. He might be unwilling to commit to you. Discuss your concerns and don’t let them build, but be reasonable. Be sure to look at your relationship with an objective eye, and see if you and your man can come to a compromise. Define what it is exactly that you’re looking for. Do you have a standing date? Are you together during holidays and birthdays? Do you want more time during the week? When you figure out what you’re looking for, then you’re ready to discuss your concerns with your guy.

You’re Happy, Your Man Is Not

The opposite problem of the one above is when you’re perfectly happy with the amount of alone time you have but your man craves more togetherness. When this happens, it usually means the man is looking for more of a commitment. Perhaps your guy is looking for marriage and you’re not. If you’re out of sync with your guy in any way, it’s time to look at what the problem represents. Are you as serious about your relationship as your guy? Be honest with yourself.

To answer the overall question of “how much alone time is normal,” the answer is that it’s different for every couple. The key isn’t how much time you spend alone but rather if you’re happy with it. If you and your guy are happy with the way things are, then you’re doing okay. If not, take a step back and decide if you and your man are out of sync in other ways, too.