30 Ways to Get Over a Breakup
By: Alicia Drewnicki |
Breakups are tough. Someone who was once your best friend has transformed into a stranger overnight and it’s hard to come to terms with that. Going through a breakup can leave you feeling sick, tired and unable to think of anything else apart from your ex. Even using the word ‘ex’ doesn’t feel right. We all go through our own stages of grief when we split up with someone, but there are lots of ways to handle it and lift your spirits.
If you have recently split up with someone, here are 30 tips to help you get over it:
1) Avoid social media stalking
It’s natural to be curious about what your ex is up to – but the chances are, you’re eventually going to find something that will aggravate you. Whether it’s your ex looking ecstatic on a night out with friends or maybe they’ve recently become Facebook friends with an attractive member of the opposite sex and there’s a flirty wall post. The best thing to do is avoid any type of stalking so you don’t put yourself in the position of discovering something you don’t want to see.
2) Reach out to your friends for support, don’t feel you’re alone
Friends will be there for you in your time of need so don’t be afraid to ask for their support. Call them for a chat, meet up for dinner and make sure you surround yourself with happy, positive people.
3) Make a list of all of your ex’s faults to remind yourself that they weren’t perfect and you can do better
If you’re still seeing your ex as Mr/Miss Perfect, then sometimes it can help to make a list of your ex’s faults to remind yourself that they weren’t that perfect after all. This can be anything from the way an ex-boyfriend was a sloppy eater to the way an ex-girlfriend used to flirt with other men in front of you. Make the list and read over it to remind yourself that they weren’t that good after all.
4) Go to a stand-up comedy night, rent out a comedy movie or go to laughter yoga
As clichéd as it sounds, laughter really is the best medicine! It releases endorphins into your body, increases blood flow and eases physical tension by relaxing your body. Go out with a friend to a stand-up comedy evening, rent out your favourite comedy movie or if you fancy something a bit more bizarre – why not check out laughing yoga?
5) Hire the movies that you always wanted to watch but your other half wasn’t keen on
If you’re a girl – maybe there’s a rom-com you haven’t seen yet? Get the girls over, buy some tasty tubs of ice cream and enjoy! If you’re a guy – perhaps there’s a sci-fi or horror movie that your girlfriend refused to watch? Focus on this ‘you time’ and pick up the things that you’ve previously put aside because of your other half.
6) Don’t rely on drink
It’s easy to get a bit too wild with the drinking and partying when we’re trying to get over a break up. It seems like a way to escape and temporarily forget about it all. Just remember, the next day, with a hangover, you’ll probably end up feeling even worse, so drink sensibly and don’t become reliant on partying as a form of escape.
7) You don’t need to rush into anything new, but why not contact someone you’ve got a crush on?
Just because you’re single, you don’t have to immediately jump into a new relationship, but there’s nothing wrong with a little flirting. Perhaps there’s someone you’ve had a crush on for a long time but you’ve never been single at the same time? Why not send them a little message to say hi. The flirting will boost your ego and your mood.
8) Try spending time with your own friends rather than friends you share with your ex
This is a tough one. When we break up – there are always going to be those mutual friends who are stuck in the middle. It may mean having to hang out with your ex to spend time with them. If this is the case, in the early stages of a break up, focus on spending time with friends who are ONLY your friends so you don’t risk any awkward ex-encounters.
9) Splash out on some new clothes
A bit of retail therapy is a great mood-booster, so head to the shops. treat yourself and buy something special that you’ve wanted for a while.
10) Plan some single nights out with your friends
Sometimes the worst thing about a break-up is seeing other couples happily in love everywhere you look. Reach out to those single friends of yours and plan a singles night out or dinner party so you can take you mind off the other couples around you.
11) Have a change of scenery and plan a trip away with some friends
Home can be a constant reminder of your ex – from photos on the walls to the local places you used to hang out together. You’ve probably been so involved in your relationship bubble that it’s been a long time since you and your friends went away alone. Plan a fun trip away – fresh territory will give you the perfect opportunity to clear your head and get away from it all.
12) Join a new club
Break-ups can really shake up your routine and leave you with empty evenings with nothing to do. Don’t wallow in self-pity and sit alone, instead take advantage of your free time and start doing some new things. How about joining a new gym class or even learning a new language you’ve always wanted to speak? What about an art class, dance class or even attending some meet up events in your area that relate to your interests?
13) Put down the phone – do not text/call your ex under any circumstances
Your finger is hovering over the ‘send’ button and you’ve just typed out a text message that you’re in two minds about sending. Step away from the phone. Cutting contact is the best way to get over it. There’s no point entering a text argument or going over the same dead-ends topics over and over again, instead put your energy into something that will lift your mood or text someone who you will get a positive response from, not make you even more frustrated.
14) Don’t beg your other half to take you back – it’s just going to make you look desperate
Many people resort to the begging approach to try and win their ex back – don’t do it. You’ll just end up looking desperate and needy – begging never comes across as attractive.
15) Listen to your friends’ and family’s advice
Don’t always assume you know best. The hardest thing can be to listen to others, but it’s really important that you do. If your friends and family are all saying the same thing (for example that your ex wasn’t right for you), instead of ignoring their words, listen to them as they are probably speaking a lot of sense.
16) Don’t put your mutual friends in an awkward position and make them choose between you
You should never make your mutual friends choose between you and your ex, to make you feel better about a break up and so you ‘know who your friends are’. Most of the time, they will probably choose the one who isn’t giving them the ultimatum. If your friend does choose you, they may resent you for making them make that decision.
17) Use your energy and focus on something positive like a new work project
Put your full focus into a new work project and turn all that built up energy into something incredibly positive. Without distractions and with full focus on one thing, it’s amazing what a high standard of work you can create.
18) Take advantage of the ‘you time’ – do whatever you want, whenever you want
Now you’re single – you’re allowed to have those moments where you just think about yourself. So do whatever you want, whenever you want and see the brilliance of that! Whether you’re eating in bed whilst reading magazines and about to watch a Disney movie marathon, see the positives of being able to do anything you desire without having to consult someone else first.
19) Don’t torment yourself with what-ifs or try to work out what went wrong. Have the attitude of ‘what’s done is done’
It’s easy to drive yourself crazy going over what went wrong again and again. This obsessing about the past isn’t going to change anything, so before you enter that thought process about all the ‘what-ifs’, remind yourself that ‘what’s done is done.’
20) Ring an old friend who you haven’t spoken to in a while – they will be delighted to hear from you
There will be friends out there who you’ve lost touch with. Sometimes we spend so much time with our other halves and close friends that others drift away. So how about a spontaneous phone call to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while? They will be so happy to hear from you.
21) Learn to meditate
Meditation can reduce anxiety, clear the mind, lower blood pressure, and reduce stress. It’s the perfect way to balance your emotions and empty your mind of all the negative thoughts related to your break up, so take some time to learn how to meditate.
22) Write about your feelings
The best way to get all the feelings out of our head is to write them down. If you’re holding back your emotions, take the time to jot down how you’re feeling and let everything go.
23) Get rid of the memories
The photos, the birthday cards, the little notes, the gifts – all these constant reminders are not doing you any good. You don’t need to bin them, but how about putting them in a box and storing that box away so all these reminders are out of sight?
24) Join a dating site
Even if you’re not ready to date yet, you need to realise there are plenty more fish in the sea and so many people who may find you attractive. It will make you feel better about yourself and will stop you concentrating solely on your ex.
25) Cry if you need to
Don’t keep all the feelings bottled up. If you need to cry, cry – letting it out can be a good way of releasing all those pent up emotions.
Unfortunately breakups can sometimes bring out our inner slob, but before you become glued to the sofa – remember that exercises boosts your mood, helps you sleep better and pumps those all-important endorphins around your body.
27) Eat healthily don’t stick to junk
Just like the importance of exercise, it’s also important to keep a balanced diet. So don’t survive on microwave meals, instead focus on eating a healthy balance diet and you’ll feel better inside and out.
28) Spend a day pampering yourself
Whether it’s a new hairstyle, a makeover or a spa day – sometimes we need some time to relax and unwind and forget about the stress of everyday life. Plan some time out away from it all and you’ll feel rejuvenated.
29) Make sure you’re getting enough sleep
Sleep deprivation can negatively impact your immune system, decrease your mental well-being, lead to memory loss and a lack of energy. Sleep is so important so if you’re finding it difficult why not try a few drops of lavender oil on your pillow, read a book or have a warm bath before bed. Do not spend time on your computer, phone or watching TV just before bed.
30) Don’t drunk text…
We’ve all been there – the true feelings seem to come out when we’re drunk and these sort of text messages are never going to be pleasant to look back on in the morning. Exercise some self-control and stop yourself from the classic drunken text embarrassment.
A break-up can leave you with a huge feeling of loss, but remember that time will help heal things and before you know it, you’ll be back on the dating scene again, ready to meet someone new. Focus on the present rather than obsessing about the past and realise that a relationship shouldn’t be the centre of your world. There are so many other things you could be doing to enjoy yourself, so get out there, make time for your friends, treat yourself and have fun!