The Mature Guy’s Guide to Channeling Your Inner Silver Fox
By: Alicia Drewnicki |
George Clooney, Richard Gere, Pierce Brosnan, Matt Le Blanc – some of the world’s hottest men have one thing in common; they’re all silver foxes. If you’re over 50 and worried about the shades of grey that you’re starting to find, fear not, as men are now ticking the ‘eligible bachelor’ box at a more mature age.
According to a study at the University of Abertay Dundee, psychologists found that ‘as women become more financially independent, they want an older, more attractive male partner.’ Similarly, the department store Debenhams conducted a study with 1000 women and 1000 men between 18 and 60 (as quoted in The Telegraph newspaper) and found out that older men are perceived to be physically attractive for more than a decade longer than they used to be.
Studies 30 years ago revealed that women thought a man had reached his peak attractiveness by age 45, but now, men who are 55 are still seen as very appealing. This reflects the trend of more women settling down later in life and not marrying or having children until they’re in their 30s or 40s. Women getting married later has a positive knock-on effect on male desirability and means that the window for being an ‘eligible bachelor’ has become larger too. The study also found that baldness is no longer seen as such a negative thing and even a slight paunch doesn’t put women off.
If you’re a mature guy and you’re looking for motivation to channel your ‘inner silver fox,’ this is the guide for you.
So first things first, the greys. You may have found yourself in denial at first; trying to pluck them out or cover them up, but stop right there, Mister. If you haven’t realised it yet, grey is sexy – just look at all those male Hollywood icons who embrace their smokey tones. Grey means distinguished, it means class and most importantly, it means experience. If you really must colour it, before you reach for the jet-black dye, why not experiment with toning down your shade of grey to make your complexion look warmer? It’s always a good idea to visit a professional hair salon to do this rather than conducting a chemistry experiment in your bathroom! Remember – the darker you go, the more upkeep there will be, as your roots will show more obviously and you could resemble a bedraggled badger rather than Pierce Brosnan.
If grey isn’t the issue, but instead it’s your receding hairline that’s worrying you, again, stop worrying! Lack of hair follicles means a surge of testosterone and actually has scientific links to being more virile. So rather than clinging on to the sparse hair you’ve got, don’t be afraid to make friends with the hair clippers and embrace your inner Jason Statham or Billy Zane!
When men get to a certain age, excess hair can be a problem, so grooming should be important. When was the last time you trimmed those caterpillar-like eyebrows? Had you even noticed how bushy they are? What about your ear hair or nasal hair? Guys, this can be a massive turn off! If you’ve never tidied up these delicate areas, the chances are that women have noticed and they’re not impressed, so get that nose/ear trimmer out, pronto! The same goes for chest hair that resembles King Kong – a little bit of grooming goes a long way!
You don’t have to tick the box of ‘metrosexual’ male and go for weekly manicures and pedicures – but if your feet would terrify a crowd on the beach when you’re sporting the flip-flops, it’s a good idea to opt for a pedicure (don’t worry – this doesn’t mean you’ll leave the salon with red toenails, instead it’s simply just getting rid of the rough skin and sprucing up). The same goes for nails – make sure they’re trim and clean.
Don’t ever underestimate the power of an expensive aftershave. It can immediately boost the attractiveness of an average looking man and transform him into a babe magnet. It shows you’ve got class and good attention to detail. So pick a seductive scent and get ready to make the ladies swoon…
Brushing your teeth, flossing, mouthwash, deodorant – it’s amazing how many guys forget the basics. Just because you’re older, it doesn’t mean you should forget about your basic personal hygiene, so always look after yourself and don’t skimp on the essentials.
Number one rule – if you’re an older man, don’t try and dress like a guy in his 20s! Those tight jeans, the old leather jacket and the t-shirt with the logo of a rock band are really doing nothing for you, neither is that creepy little rat’s tail that you’ve decided to grow.
Older men are much more attractive if they accept their age, and wear clothes that reflect this. Before you think you have to reach out for the knitted grandad cardigan – no, this isn’t what we mean. A crisp white shirt, a stylish blazer and a pair of chinos go a long way and will make you look and feel like a million dollars.
You’ve also got to remember that it’s important to dress to compliment your body shape so if you’ve got a beer belly, don’t wear a t-shirt that’s two sizes too small (it doesn’t make you look thinner).
If you’re really not sure what to wear and are too embarrassed to ask a female friend for advice, why not go to a department store and book an appointment with a personal stylist (that’s what they’re there for). They will soon sort you out and this could be the style makeover you’ve needed for 20 years!
3) MANNERS AND CHARM
A chivalrous kiss on the hand (continental style) can be very seductive. It’ll set you on the right path and ignite the sparks at the beginning of your date (especially if she can smell your fine aftershave as you lean in).
One thing that sets older men apart from younger men is their manners. If you act like a chivalrous gentleman (opening doors, offering to pay, checking she got home ok) she’ll recognise that you are more charming and worldly-wise.
4) THE ‘BAGGAGE’ ISSUE
Perhaps you’ve just come out of a 30 year marriage and feel a bit lost and lonely? Maybe you’re worried that the fact you’ve got 4 kids is going to put women off dating you? The thing to remember is that it’s normal to have baggage at your age (whether that’s past relationships or children) and it would actually be more unusual if you had been single all that time.
The most important thing is to always be honest upfront and never hide anything. It will be a lot worse if you form a connection with someone, and then spring the kids on them at a later date. This could sacrifice the trust that you had started developing and cut a new romance short.
5) BODY LANGUAGE
Even if you’re feeling nervous on the inside and unsure about ‘getting back on the dating scene’, you should always be aware of your body language. Even if you have to fake the confidence, this is going to be better than resembling a nervous greyhound shaking in the corner of the room. So stand tall, hold your head high and believe that you’re desirable. Watch out for any fidgety nervous gestures, avoidance of eye contact and picking your clothing – if you’re at ease with yourself, then the woman you’re with will feel comfortable around you too.
6) ONLINE DATING
Online dating has become the norm and it’s a great way of not only boosting your confidence but also opening your eyes to women who you’d be too nervous to approach in real life.
If online dating is completely new to you and you don’t have a clue where to begin, you could always check out our beginner’s guide to using technology as a mature dater?
Don’t be tempted to use photos that are 30 years old, instead pick photos that are an accurate representation of what you look like now. You could always get a friend to help you take some flattering shots in natural light if you can’t find any that are suitable. Don’t fall into the trap of editing the images too much though, because when you meet your date in person, she’s going to realise how old you are/how much you weigh and could be disappointed if you’ve tricked her into thinking you look completely different.
7) DATING YOUNGER WOMEN
If you’ve got a date with a younger woman and you’re wondering how to approach the situation – treat her like your equal, do not take on the teacher/father role. If you find yourself lecturing her, telling her off or explaining that you’ve ‘been there and done that’ – it’s time to have a reality check and ask yourself if you should really be dating someone so much younger than you.
Instead of being flash with the cash or acting like a Sugar Daddy, just focus on enjoying her company. Don’t let a pretty face fool you – if a woman is only with you for your money, this could be ‘situation:heartbreak’ waiting to happen. She’ll move on to the next ‘target’ as soon as the money dries out so try and judge if a woman is with you for YOU, not just for your wallet.
On top of this, don’t pretend to be young and try to match the behaviour of the girl you’re dating. If you dress in clothes that don’t suit you or try to use slang words that you think are ‘in’, you’re just going to end up defeating the object and will appear even older than you already are.
Just because you’re older – it doesn’t mean you should lose your fun, youthful spontaneous side! Plan surprises and unexpected trips away. Take the bull by the horns and use the fact that you have more of a disposable income than younger guys to your advantage.
9) DON’T RUSH
Even if you and your date are in your 50s with marriage and children between you, this doesn’t mean your new relationship should be put on fast-forward. Life experience doesn’t mean this relationship is different to any relationships you’ve had in the past. ALWAYS treat a woman like a lady; show her respect and let her dictate the pace of your blossoming romance and tell you what she’s comfortable with.
10) TO SUM IT UP…
Mature guys are no longer seen as ‘grumpy old men’ or bores who are ‘behind with the times’. The silver fox of society is the new ‘love God’; he’s got style, he’s strong, independent and he displays the wisdom that younger guys don’t seem to have yet. Grey hair is much more flattering on men than women, so you should embrace it, see it as a positive and channel your inner George Clooney.
As a final point, never forget this – a guy always wonders if he’s going to get lucky on a first date, but a woman already knows…