Let’s face it: it can be hard to be single anywhere, but it seems especially hard to be single in Los Angeles. Here are some reasons why dating is especially hard in LA.
1. The driving. Let’s say you’re scrolling through your online dating possibilities and you meet a great guy. He seems perfect but here’s the catch: he lives in Venice, and you live in Encino. Basically that means it’s going to be hard to meet up, because you’re so far and the traffic in Los Angeles makes you seem even farther. Unless you live in a little enclave like Los Feliz Village and you happen to meet someone in your little area, LA is a driving town. This makes dating difficult. People can be really spread out and the public transportation is pretty awful, which means you’ve gotta brace yourself for a hefty Uber drive or making the drive yourself. It makes dating less spontaneous and makes being single feel really lonely.
2. The industry. It’s hard to meet someone in LA who isn’t working or dreaming of working in the entertainment industry. Why does this matter? Well, there are a few reasons. One is that some people are so in love with their dream of making it big that they don’t have room to love anything (or anyone) else. There’s also the fact (and yes, I’m calling it a fact) that dating an actor can be very difficult. I’ve met some wonderful actors in my time who weren’t completely full of themselves, but it was still hard because of their erratic schedules; auditions and callbacks could pop up on a moment’s notice, leading to canceled or permanently rescheduled dates. An actor is always going to put himself and his career first. Same with musicians.
3. Everyone is so damn good looking. Why is this a struggle?, you may be asking. Well, because when men and women alike all look so flawless, it can be hard to keep up a good self esteem. Even people who don’t work in the industry tend to look stunning. It can make a person feel very insecure. Even I get the occasional bout of insecurity and I’ve lived here my whole life. It’s hard not to compare yourself to others and easy to let your confidence wither. You feel like if you skip a work out day, you’re committing some big LA sin.
4. It’s expensive. Los Angeles is an expensive city to live in, and it’s an expensive city to date in. Personally, I’d be fine with going to In-N-Out for dinner and then grabbing a drink or a bottle of wine and hang out, but that’s just me. It’s usually expected that a first date holds some promise of dinner and/or a movie and/or drinks, and that all adds up. And when you’re dating a lot, it’s almost like you need a second job just to be able to afford it all. This is one thing about Los Angeles I truly cannot stand (that and the driving, which I will never get over, as long as I’ve lived here.)
5. Everyone is always on their phone. Sure, you see this in other cities (like New York) but it seems that in Los Angeles, peoples’ phones are glued to their hands. I guess this goes back to the industry thing — people are eagerly awaiting to hear from their agent/manager/publicist about the next big thing, so they’re constantly texting and making calls. It’s like no one wants to be left behind so everyone is constantly communicating, except for the person they’re on a date with. It’s extremely rude to this but I think it’s become second nature to people who aren’t even phased by it anymore. It sucks.
6. It’s a small world after all. As big as LA is, it’s actually quite small. There’s always somebody who knows somebody you know. So that stranger you’re think you’re dating could actually be the assistant to your former boss, or your ex roommate’s ex, or the best friend of your local barista. It seems like everybody knows each other, and this can be a bad thing when you’re single, because you really just want a fresh start and yet, here’s someone in front of you who has some sort of connection to someone you know. Again, chalk it up to the industry — when so many people work in one industry, you’re bound to see familiar faces in the dating scene.
7. People are flaky. It’s an LA stereotype that’s mostly true — people in Los Angeles tend to be a little flakier than most people. It’s really hard to lock down plans with anyone in LA. You’ll hear things like “Let’s touch base later” or “I’ll hit you up after my latest project” and it will never come to fruition. It makes dating especially frustrating. Most of the time, it’s not because that person “just isn’t into you” but rather because they’re waiting to see what’s around the corner. It’s all about the next big thing: the next big audition, the next big project, the next big date. People are hard to pin down.
8. The competition. People in LA are always competing, whether they’re conscious of it or not, and yes, they even compete when it comes to dating. Some people collect dates the way others collect business cards. Everyone wants to be connected. And everyone tries to one-up each other. Tell a friend you went on a date with a budding actor and they’ll top it with their date with a B-list actor. Sometimes they just can’t help it. Everyone is trying so damn hard in this town. Of course, this isn’t to say that there aren’t wonderful people worth dating in Los Angeles — don’t get discouraged. Just be mindful and prepared, and try to agree on meeting in between your respective homes. That’s just polite LA etiquette! Image via WeHeartIt.com.