Breakups suck, there’s really no other way to say it. But sometimes, good can come out of a breakup. The good being, if you’re willing, you can be friends with your ex. And I think you should. There are definite benefits (and no, I don’t mean sexy benefits, but if you can carry on as FWB without drama, power to you.) Here are some upsides to being friends with your ex. Note: these all assume that things with your ex ended on a good note, and that the relationship was a (relatively) healthy one. If it didn’t end on a good note but you’d like it to, it’s not too late!
You have someone to count on.
Like any good friend, your ex can be someone you can count on for when things get rough, or if you need to move. Hey, you’d be surprised what an ex will do for you. My ex and I are on great terms and I’m happy for it, because it means I’ve got someone I can talk to when I’m down, or if I need a ride to the airport. Yup, we give each other airport rides. And it’s not sad. It’s great!
You’ve got someone who knows you really well.
They know your likes and dislikes, from food to television shows to what you order at Starbucks. It’s like having a pre-made best friend. You’ve got someone right there who knows everything about you. Remember in How I Met Your Mother when Ted bemoaned the death of his relationship to Robin because now he had all this useless info about her, like he majored in a class only to fall short of getting the degree? I totally related to that. Think of how much you know about this person, and the journeys it took for you to get to know what you do. It’s worth holding on to.
Think of all the inside jokes you’ve got.
You don’t want to lose those wonderful little humor nuggets, do you? You know those jokes, those certain wonderful private jokes where you look at something and the moment when you created the joke just hits you like whoa and you want to tell someone. Well go ahead and tell your ex! Send them a text, a reminder of the joke you had. Keep it strong, keep it going. A good joke is too hard to find these days.
You’re banishing bitterness from your life.
When you can be friends with an ex, you’re saying, “I’m not bitter.” You’re embracing the good, and banishing the bad, and that’s important for any future relationships you may have with someone else. Personally, I wouldn’t want to get involved with someone who wasn’t on at least speaking terms with their ex. I’m not saying they have to be best friends, I’m saying, I’m hoping they’re not cursing their name every day and doing satanic rituals hoping to clear them from the planet. That’s just too much bad energy. When you put that kind of energy out in the world, you’re doing yourself a disservice!
Are you friends with an ex? If not, would you consider it?
Image via We Heart It.