June 25th, 2014 by Almie Rose

Why You Shouldn’t Sex And Not Text

text

Has this happened to you? You went on what you thought was a fantastic, lovely, wonderful, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious date only to get totally blown off? So maybe you think, “Hey, I’m a modern woman” (that is, if you’re a modern woman) “I’ll text him.” So you do, and you either get a bunch of guff back about how busy he is in the upcoming days/weeks/months or even worse, you still don’t hear anything back?

Gentlemen (and ladies!) we have to put a stop to this. It’s time to usher in a new era of honesty, because everyone deserves honesty, and I know it’s very easy to ignore someone nowadays. All you have to do is see their text and think, “Nope”, but that’s just terrible.

That was a person you were with. You had sex with someone who is a complete person, who has a life and likes and dislikes and dreams and hopes. Don’t just throw them out like they’re spam mail. I’m not saying you’re not allowed to delete them from your life; if you’re not a match, no one is saying you have to be. What I’m saying is, don’t just ignore them.

If you had a date and you weren’t feeling it, you need to let them know, ESPECIALLY if they text you about it in the following days. If they want to see you again, and you don’t, send an honest (but kind!) text. Something along the lines of, “I had a good time” (only if you truly did) “but I don’t think this is going to work between us. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Is that a painful text for someone to get? Yes. But you know what’s even more painful? Not getting anything at all. It’s like, you saw me naked, dude. Come on. You saw me vulnerable and you can’t even take a few minutes out of your day to let me know it’s done? Aren’t we all adults here?

Ladies, we need to do this, too. It’s not just a one-sided thing, even though in my experience, men don’t text as often as women do. But men are still ignored by women. We all have to stop ignoring texts. And on the reverse side, if you had a great date, let them know! Let’s just take the guess work out of this whole thing.

Because dating is hard enough. We can make it easier with some good old fashioned honesty. Just remember: be honest, but also be kind. “It’s not gonna work out because you’ve got a face like Yoda” isn’t kind. Keep that in mind.

 

Photo by Jhaymesisviphotography via Flickr.

Almie Rose is the blogger behind the insanely popular website Apocalypstick.com. She shares her personal (and sometimes harrowing) experiences dating in Los Angeles.

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