June 25th, 2014 by Jess Downey
Taking One For The Team: I Do Everything You Shouldn’t Do In Front Of Your Man
While trying to figure out what to write about this week, I took to the interwebs. I often do this when writing. Sometimes I feel inspired and sometimes I just find myself in a black hole that’s helped me to waste an hour or so of my life.
Anyway. I stumbled on an article about things you should never do in front of your man. I found the list quite unrealistic, which prompted me to Google the subject to find what other people/sites think. I found that most articles have the same general idea of things that you shouldn’t do in front of your man. And then I realized that I do (or have done) all of the things you shouldn’t do. Yes. Every. Single. Thing.
Let’s take a look.
Poop — Ok. I know you’re thinking gross. But, when you stay in a little bed and breakfast and the bathroom has no door, you don’t really have a choice. And I will be honest, it wasn’t really that bad.
Fart — Guilty as charged. I mean, really guilty. When we were first dating I was a little more careful about it. But now that we live together, give me a break. It’s a little hard to go to a different room every single time. And, let’s all be real here, it’s not really that healthy to hold that stuff in.
Burp — Yep, same thing as farting. Sometimes you just can’t help it, folks.
Inappropriate scratching — I confess. I’ve scratched a little “down there”. And I’ve also probably scratched my arm pits a few times. I’m pretty sure my fiance has done it since day one so I don’t think it’s earth shattering that I started sneaking it in a few months ago.
Popping a pimple — I technically haven’t done this on purpose and I’m not saying I do it frequently or anything, but I’ve popped a few in his presence.
Flossing/picking your teeth — I’ve done both. Flossing, definitely. What’s the harm in that? We brush our teeth together almost every night so what am I supposed to do? Go in another room? Do it before he gets to the bathroom? I don’t get it. And I feel the same about picking my teeth. If we’re in the car and I notice something is there, I’m probably not going to just sit there with some broccoli dangling out of my mouth until we stop and I can do it privately.
Hair removal of any kind — I have totally shaved in front of my fiance. I’ve never thought it’s a big deal. He knows the hair is there so he knows I remove it. What’s the big deal in doing it in front of him?
Maybe we’re weirdos, but neither of us is really grossed out by the things the other person does. That’s just who we are.
Seriously though. This stuff should be on a couple by couple basis. I’m sure there are couples who don’t do any of this in front of each other and there’s nothing wrong with that. But there’s also no harm in being the couple that doesn’t mind being gross in front of each other either. So they shouldn’t be ridiculed for it or be made to feel less attractive because they burp or fart. That’s just insanity. We’re human beings after all.
Whatever you decide to do in front of one other, whatever kind of couple you are…just embrace it.
Image via weheartit.
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