Gay Dating: When You’re Just Not Into Him

By: David |

Date Expectations
We’ve all been there. We get ourselves all excited for a date with a guy who we think is really hot, but when push comes to shove we are just not attracted to him. There are a number of reasons why this might happen. You might have totally different interests and you struggle to find common ground; you simply might not like the guy because of something he says or does; and sometimes, the chemistry just isn’t there.

In fact, when you think about it statistically, there is a better chance of there being no chemistry than striking up some incredible connection on a first date. Just think of the number of dates you have been on that haven’t led to second dates – there are probably quite a few. That is most probably not your fault, or your date’s fault. It’s just the way the cookie crumbles. So how exactly do you handle a date situation when both you and your date recognise that the chemistry simply isn’t there?

Settle for friendship. Actually, making a new friend is not “settling” at all. Acquiring a new friend is always a valuable thing, and just because you don’t feel a romantic connection with your date does not mean that you can’t keep in touch and stay friends. The world of gay dating gets a bad rap as guys are often viewed as shallow or only looking for something casual. But gay friendships are often some of the tightest that you can find. If the romantic spark isn’t there but you still find yourself enjoying the company of your date, this guy could potentially still be a lifelong friend. Be honest about your feelings for your date and the night might not end in fireworks and bed shaking, but in something potentially more valuable.

Call it quits. There are times when niceties just won’t cut it. It is always a good idea to put your best food forward, to ask the right questions, and to be polite to your date, but sometimes when the same courtesy is not given in return, it is just better to cut your losses and call it a night. If your date says something that offends you or rubs you the wrong way, you don’t have any responsibility to stick around. Be courteous enough to explain why you feel the date is not working out, but then march out of the bar/park/bowling alley/restaurant and feel confident that your next date can’t get much worse.

Grin and bear it. Yes, there are times when it’s acceptable to storm out of a date. But when a guy is perfectly nice but you just don’t like him, that is not the case. In this instance, you might just have to power through it, and realise that in the grand scheme of things, smiling your way through a boring date is not the worst thing in the world. Leave your date with a courteous peck on the cheek and hopefully he won’t be confused about your feelings for him.

Don’t feel disheartened about dates not working out the way they do in the movies. Keep dating and showcasing how charming you are and everything will work out for you in the end. A good place to start? We Love Dates Gay Dating!