March 21st, 2014 by Mariel Norton
19 Of The Worst “About Me” Sections We’ve Ever Seen
We’ve all heard the phrase that ‘a good first impression creates a great lasting impression’ – however, it seems the pressure of perfecting your pitch can be too much for some, falling over the first hurdle before they have the chance to cross the finish line (insert witty remark about the human race here).
Awful jokes and embarrassing puns aside, filling in a decent self-summary is serious business – literally. There’s plenty of writers tasked with the project of crafting a perfectly tuned dating profile, however, many prefer to save their money and represent themselves. It can’t be that hard to write an online dating profile, right?
You haven’t met these guys.
It’s not you, it’s…your self-summary
With the About Me category proving the most important section in an online dating profile (favoured by 55 per cent), it’s imperative that you summarise yourself appropriately. Trying too hard to be funny can easily be miscommunicated, and attempting to create an air of mystery by giving short, cryptic descriptions will seem like you just don’t care.
Which we all know isn’t true, since you’ve cared enough to sign up to an online dating site.
Here’s some of the most atrocious self-summaries handpicked by yours truly. Enjoy?
Oh my god, it’s online dating…
Oh my god, nothing gets past you…
Because writing a self-summary defeats the object of being a self-summary, right?
Ask me and find out.
As opposed to asking you and still not getting the answer to the question. Sorted.
Hmm this feels like filling in an application form…
So finding a partner is a lot like carrying out some basic admin?
Hey im Jason. Il come bk to this.
Thx 4 lettng me no.
I’ll fill this in later!
I won’t hold my breath!
I’m a whole load of clichés.
And I’m just trapped in a glass case of emotion.
I like to LAUGH and EAT FOOD and DRINK DRINKS because as a HUMAN MAN these are the things that help me to FUNCTION.
You must LOVE using CAPS LOCK to MAKE a POINT.
My names Matt, I’M 26 and here to have a look around.
Oh good, a window shopper. MY FAVOURITE.
Easy going guy no bulsh*t it’s 2014, all that’s done with, come correct or not all.
Wait what – it’s 2014? I’ll get my coat! Plus he’s so easy going that he’s
shaken up the correct spelling of ‘easygoing’.
Ask me, no bull no horse lol
You don’t like animals? Massive deal breaker lol
Hello there, my dear stalker. =)
Wait – did THAT just happen?!
Congratulations!, Future Girlfriend.
Um, sorry I’m busy washing my hair. For the foreseeable future.
Hey, I’m an easy going guy that likes keeping active, hanging out, watching films, going for long walks on the beach, the usual
Another easygoing guy? Really? And as for the clichéd long walks on the beach…you really sold yourself by ending your summary with an emoticon.
I’m not the best at these..Just ask me anything
Ah, so you’ve written a few already? Well if you insist on asking you anything, how about you tell me all about the Pareto principle? Didn’t think so
Write something here.
I think waaaay too much.
Yet not enough to fill in your self-summary. AMIRITE?!
This profile was last updated 18th December 2012.
Well what do you know? My time travelling machine’s broken.
From ‘easy going’ guys to those who enjoy ‘long walks on the beach’, it’s time to stand out from the crowd. Remember, it takes somebody special to be different – so make your self-summary unique and you could find yourself that ‘special’ someone.
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