March 20th, 2014 by Len Cruz

50s Dating: What You Should Realize By Now

 

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Fact over theory is the reason why older people achieve wisdom. Having experienced adversity and triumphs have made them more knowledgeable about many things. They are really wiser.

This is, undoubtedly, an integral part of dating. However, this notion can be both a blessing and a concealed complication sometimes. How can a positive attribute be a debility? Well, having a perceived sense of self limits the person to possibilities that are beyond one’s grasp. If you’ve been through something (say, a bad relationship) and have survived it, surely, you’ll have a strong sense of forbearance and confidence.

But, those are good qualities, too! Yes…to a certain degree. Those qualities can lead to inflexibility and narrow-mindedness.

Don’t ever forget to add the ‘human factor’ to the dating equation whether you’re 15 or 50, even beyond. Loosen up and give yourself a break because these things will still happen to you:

 

You will make mistakes…still

Hopefully, not as much. Even if you have more experiences than an average man in five successive lifetimes, there is still an almost certain chance that you will make new ones or even the same ones. Going forward in the dating world with the I-know-how-to-make-this-perfect-this-time-around thinking is great! But the thing is ‘shite happens’.

As you exert effort in avoiding the mistakes of your past, extend some to accept the mistakes of your future as well. Learning from your mistakes is vital. You know what’s equally important? Accountability. It’s the best step towards self-improvement.

 

You don’t know it all

Unless you have a divine power (if you do, hit me up ‘cause we need to talk), accept the fact that you don’t have all the answers to every single question or every single problem. None of us do. Acting like one is one of the surest ways to drive potential paramour away from you.

Have you heard of ‘intellectual humility’? It has been tackled on extensively over the years because of the simple fact that it is a mighty thing – be it in the academe, workplace, and even dating. It’s all about acknowledging the limitation of your knowledge. Having this will let you evolve and be one step higher than the competition.

You’re over 50 but still has zero clue on how to really turn a woman on? No worries! You’re not alone. Most men just think that they do. Gather information everywhere – articles, books, friends, and even strangers.

 

You’ll never, ever be ready

We are constantly bombarded by harrowing eventualities hence we stall and trick ourselves into believing that we will do it once we have prepared enough. The funny thing is, once we feel that we’re 100% ready and actually get into the situation, all our preparations are still not enough. It’s because preparation is only a halfway thing. You have to be in the situation in order to know how to handle it. You have to take the leap in order to know the right way to react.

A friend of mine took half a dozen classes in preparation for motherhood. It barely helped her because preparation is, often than not, all about tackling the big picture. The small details are ignored. Life will give you little surprises that are not included in your list of ‘Troubleshooting 101’. Once of which is this…

 

You will fall for the complete opposite of your ideal mate

You’ve had a checklist of an ideal partner for such a long time, but couldn’t find anyone who fits the bill. Every month or so, you trim it down or try to substitute an attribute for something simpler, but still nothing. Then out of the blue, you start falling hard for someone who doesn’t have a single trait on your list. It’s the universe telling you that you shouldn’t underestimate the power of love. Majority – if not all – of us are not above it. You know what? Having an ideal mate means nothing if you don’t have the chemistry needed to make your relationship last. Forget the ideal, choose the right one.

Len

Len is the delusional brains behind the lifestyle, parenting, and fashion site: www.themommist.com. She believes that words are meaningless unless they are used for the good kind of change.

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