London has some of the best bars in the world and some of the most interesting guys! Being single is exciting – you never know who you are going to meet. Here’s a guide to twelve different guys you might encounter on a night out in England’s capital city.
1) The Banker
This guy is the ultimate smooth operator. He’s a triple threat when it comes to approaching women; masterfully capturing their attention with his Savile Row suit, well-rehearsed chat and platinum credit cards. This city slicker looks suave, smells divine and knows exactly what lines work to seduce a woman. The problem is, it won’t be long before the conversation steers on to money, name-dropping and his latest multi-million pound deal. Instead of genuine romance, this guy can be far too obsessed with getting what he wants solely by flashing his cash. As well as this, just like his job in finance, he’ll often fiercely battle to get what he wants, but he’ll quickly get bored and move on to his next conquest. So if you’re dating a banker, you’ll have to fight hard to keep his attention.
2) The Gym Addict
It’s all about “the bod” with this guy, nothing else matters. You’ll spot him wearing a tight t-shirt that exposes his pecs and he probably won’t be a stranger to fake tan or waxing. His body is his temple and frankly, he’s probably the only one who worships it. Missing a day at the gym would be a major disaster, so expect to be drinking alcohol alone. You’ll find him sipping a low-calorie mocktail whilst flexing his muscles and pouting at himself in the mirror behind the bar. He may not have a great job or social skills, but that doesn’t matter to him, as long as he can point you in the right direction if you ask that all-important question: “which way to the beach?”
3) The Promoter
Slicker than George Clooney in a coffee advert, this guy certainly isn’t scared of being surrounded by women, in fact he thrives on it. He’s paid by the club to turn up and host a table and the more women around him, the better his reputation. You’ll often find him in an iridescent slim-cut designer suit that makes him stand out from the crowd like a polished seal. He’s a master at talking to women and will never admit to dating anyone. Who is that girl set as his phone wallpaper? “Just a friend.” The aim of the game is to get a harem of beautiful women at his table, and to do this, he’ll flatter them before promising them the finest (probably watered down) vodka for free all night.
4) The Rugby Boy
Look for the turned up collar, the messy hair and the pack of wing-men. The confident rugby boy is a certified crowd pleaser. He’ll hit the town with his teammates after playing a game and you’ll find him downing beers, slamming shots on the bar and making bold moves on the dance floor. This boy is the ultimate rugged alpha-male and he’ll attract plenty of girls with his chiselled looks, confidence and strength. Be careful though – always aiming for victory, this type of guy is often after a trophy girlfriend to show off to the boys.
5) The East London Hipster
If you venture out to East London, especially Shoreditch, you’re bound to bump into this guy. Style is everything, especially conforming to the (ironic) East London movement of being a fashion “non-conformist.” His facial hair will be making its very own fashion statement; think retro German handlebar moustache mixed with Santa Claus and you’re getting there. He won’t go out of the house without his (non-prescription) thick-rimmed glasses, super skinny, often garishly bright patterned jeans and his 80s cartoon character t-shirt. Whilst he’s rolling his own cigarette, be sure to ask him about his striking tattoo, which he probably designed himself. You’ll spot him at edgy pop-up events, underground music venues or bars that serve drinks out of jam-jars.
6) The Old Rich Guy
He may be old and wrinkly but he still thinks he’s a babe-magnet and will never date a woman his own age. The old rich guy going through a mid-life crisis will be sitting on his own at a fancy cocktail bar, waiting to pounce. Everything he wears will shout out “I’ve got money to burn”, from his designer shoes to his Rolex watch and gold rings (not on his wedding finger though).
The aim of the game is to attract women in their 20s with promises of living the “high life.” This guy will try to use his wealth to overcome his age and will be happy to order the most expensive champagne on the menu in exchange for keeping “The Ultimate Silver Fox” company. If he whispers in your ear: “there’s life in the old dog yet”, it’s probably time to drink up and call it a night.
7) The Unhappy Middle Aged Married Man
Frequently spotted in the same seat at the same pub, every single night, the unhappy middle aged married man will stay out late, pretending to his wife that he’s still working hard at the office. Two possible options – either he will hide the wedding ring or alternatively, he’ll be honest and find a women to tell all his problems to. “I hate my wife, she doesn’t understand me”, “our marriage is on the rocks”, “we’ve been sleeping in separate rooms for the past six months” or “I think my wife is seeing someone else”, may come up in conversation.
Before you become a regular fixture as his agony aunt, don’t be fooled. You can be sure that things are just fine when he gets back to wifey and you’ve probably just been part of the evening’s entertainment.
8) The Predator
Beware ladies – he’s on the prowl! The predator, the player, the playboy, the bad boy, the womaniser – whatever you want to call him, the likelihood is that he’s not interested in a long-term relationship, he’s just playing you. This guy is like a vulture when it comes to attractive ladies and he knows exactly how to make them his prey.
Every girl has fallen under this guy’s spell before. The classic smooth operator – he knows exactly what to say to make you feel like you’re the centre of his world. He’ll make a B-line for you and will claim he’s looking for “the right girl” to settle down with. He’ll give you all his attention (until you catch him making eyes at another girl over your shoulder) but you can be sure that no girl is ever more than a notch on his bedpost. This guy is destined to be the perpetual bachelor.
9) The Lad
Watch out, there’s a “lad” about, and the aim of the game is to impress his friends, not you. Just like wolves, these guys arrive in packs and are often already extremely drunk after some heavy drinking games back home. Their idea of a good time is to “get wasted” every weekend and to seduce the hottest girls possible. Expect them to take part in juvenile dares, kiss multiple girls in one night, get into trouble with the bouncer and do whatever it takes to win the title of being “The Ultimate Lad.”
10) The Posh Party Boy
You’ll recognise him a mile off – red chinos, perfectly coiffed hair, boat shoes (without socks) and a cashmere jumper carefully slumped over his shoulders. He’ll often be found in exclusive Chelsea clubs with a tight door policy, where only those with money are in attendance. Don’t be surprised if he has friends in Royal circles. When he’s not at the finest London clubs, you’ll find him at Henley Regatta, at the races or sailing his boat along the French Riviera.
Be guided by the surge of sparklers in champagne buckets and they will take you to the posh party boy. Just like his taste in alcohol, he has the finest taste in women too, so if he doesn’t think you’re a lady, you won’t stand a chance.
11) Mr Techie
Introducing: the dark horse. They say “it’s always the quiet ones”, and sometimes they may just surprise you! Wherever you go, you’ll spot the “quiet” tech-savvy computer geek, but watch out, because one glass of gin and tonic later, and he might just be showing you the moves like Jagger on the dance floor! Avert your gaze when he does the obligatory hip-thrust though, otherwise you might just be joining him for the next boogie!
12) The Catch
Style, great moves, handsome, generous and a gentleman – some guys really do have the full package! Unfortunately, “The Catch” is a guy who is often snapped up pretty quickly. This is a man who doesn’t go out with the aim of seducing as many girls as possible and instead prefers to be in serious relationships rather than having casual flings. This is definitely the guy to look out for.
So that’s it – twelve distinctive males you may spot at a London bar! Good luck ladies, let me know how you get on!