March 5th, 2014 by Jess Downey
Meeting By Chance Isn’t the Only Way to Find Romance
People always want a romantic story about how they met. They want to reach for the same loaf of bread and see stars. Or look at each other from across the bar, get lost in conversation for hours, and just know. And online dating isn’t ever seen as romantic. At all. Not one little bit.
Here’s the thing about reality though — life is not a rom com. And I think sometimes we get a little too caught up thinking it should be just like one. I know a lot of couples who are incredibly happy and none of them met in some obvious romantic way. Most of them didn’t meet by chance either. A lot of them met at school or work. Some were fixed up by a friend. And some met online.
Personally, I don’t see why we get so wrapped up in the way we meet the person we fall in love with anyway. It’s such a small part of something that’s so much bigger.
I met my fiancé off of a dating site. We exchanged messages about Mario Lopez and college football before he asked if I wanted to meet for a drink. We met up at a dive bar where we spent nearly five hours drinking too many beers and his favorite scotch. In the middle of drinking the scotch, I told him I couldn’t finish it because I was so hungry that if I drank anymore I would throw up. We left the bar to grab a burger only to find the place was closed so we ended up grabbing a slice of pizza at one of NYC’s many corner pizza joints. There, we ate slices of cheese pizza and watched Jimmy Fallon. Afterwards, he walked me to the subway.
I will be the first to admit that this isn’t particularly original. We met off a dating site. You know, like two million other Americans. We met at a dive bar. In New York City. I know, I know. Millions of people that meet in that same way. In fact, I have met dozens of guys like that.
But what if I told you that my fiancé only found me on that dating site because he randomly decided to search for beer? And that I’m not like the gals he normally went for on a dating site. What if I told you that he picked that dive bar because he knew I liked dive bars? What if I told you that I’ve since found out funny details about that first meeting? Like the fact that he almost didn’t like me because I have this annoying nervous laughter that kind of makes me look like a crazy lady.
I love telling people about how we met. Even though it’s not original or some elaborate story about how we met by chance, I gush every time I tell that story. Others gush too. Because it’s the story of how I met the person I want to spend my life with. Let’s all be honest, people gush about love no matter how it started.
At the end of the day, how you meet really just a small part of your story. It doesn’t have to be original or magical or by chance. The real romance is in the story you’ve built together. The relationship. The love. The way you are together. That’s the stuff that makes your story romantic. That’s the stuff that makes it all feel original and magical. So don’t get so wrapped up in how it all happens that you miss out on what’s actually happening (or what could happen).
How did you meet the last person you dated?