We gotta admit, there’s a thrill attached to that awkward and confusing stage that happens when you first start dating someone new. The push and pull and yep, the game playing. After awhile though, it becomes annoying. Very annoying, actually.
With a supposed higher intellectual and emotional level, you’d think midlife daters would be above sending mixed signals and playing games, but some (consciously or unconsciously) can’t seem to stop. It was a bit cute back in high school, but it’s definitely not cute once you reach the older adult years.
Being told to “grow up!” when you have just celebrated the 21st birthday celebration of your youngest grandson is distressing and a big blow to one’s ego. Here are five games a mature dater should never play:
Giving subtle innuendos
Some people are just shy that’s why they result to giving hints. If you’re going to flirt with someone by dropping hints, make sure that they are strong enough to take you to the next level. Show, don’t tell. Giving full attention to your date, making eye contact, laughing at his jokes, and touching his arm every now and then are some examples of firm hints.
Midlife daters complain about having less time and fewer options when it comes to dating. Well, sending mixed signals takes a lot of unnecessary time. When you find the one you really like, don’t go hot today and cold the next. It’s like riding a roller coaster of emotions with major loops. It’s nauseating. If you’re not sure about your feelings for her, feel that she’s coming in too strong for you or don’t like her at all, then let her know.
The ignore-the-man technique
Playing hard to get is every woman’s right. We’re with you on this one. But ignoring a man for a long time diminishes the value of the act. You’re in that stage in life wherein decisiveness is clearly appreciated. If your dream man is making an effort to show you how much he feels, be logical and wise enough give some back. Doing this will not make you less of a woman.
Leading him/her on
We understand that after being out of the dating loop for a long time, you suddenly become very excited with the attention you’re getting from a few potential mates. That’s good. However, don’t abuse that by leading someone on just because you are undecided or want to prolong the feeling of being enamored. One mark of maturity is prioritizing another’s feelings before your own. The person you are leading on is also eager to find someone who will spend the rest of her days with him. Give him the chance to do that.
Teasing is one the many ways guys show either interest or jealousy. Harmless and non-offensive teasing can be fun, but there are some that are just plain immature. Teasing the woman that you like to another man is an example. Imagine a reputable 62-year old physicist with double PhD and have heaps of achievements including holding a secret code for the government tell a woman this: “I dare you to go out with Dr. Patterson from the Forensic Department and get laid! You know you want to.” We’re going to cry if we witness this. Really.
You can tease her to illicit a sensual response and create an emotional connection, but you have to do it right. Assess your date’s personality first. If she’s the type of woman who can take some playful banter or two then go ahead and do a witty tease.
Do tell! What kind of dating games have you experienced?