January 8th, 2014 by Jess Downey

5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Say I Love You

Photo Credit:  Doug88888 (Flickr)

Photo Credit: Doug88888 (Flickr)

Saying “I love you” is a pretty big thing and how it happens depends on the couple. Some people say it after a month, some wait a lot longer. Some people plan a huge gesture to go with it, others just blurt it out. And, honestly, that’s how it should be. You should do it when and how it feels right. But while saying it is different for everyone, there are a few times I think we all can agree you shouldn’t. Here are 5 reasons you should never drop the l-word.

Because you’ve been together for awhile

Like I said in the opening paragraph, love is different for every couple. Just because you’ve been together a while and people are starting to ask when you’ll say it doesn’t mean you should. It also doesn’t matter if you’ve been together longer than couples you know who are saying it. Say it when you’re ready. Don’t base it on some crazy time table.

Because you should be in that place in your life

Growing up in the Midwest, the general path of life seemed to be graduate high school, go to college, then fall in love and get married. And I think regardless of what path you learned you should be taking, a lot of us tend to have this idea that there is a certain age where you should be ready for love. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you will find it or have it at that time in life. It also doesn’t mean that you have to say it if you’ve met someone around that time.

Because you’re drunk

Ok, I will say that saying it when you’re drunk is perfectly fine. My fiancé and I actually said it for the first time at 3am during karaoke at our local pub. We weren’t actually singing, but there were beers and shots involved.  However, we weren’t saying it because we were drunk. We both felt it and wanted to say it a few times before, we just didn’t have the guts. So, a little liquid courage is OK. Saying it only because you’re smashed and can’t think straight is not.

Because it’s a holiday or your birthday

Oh the holidays. Aren’t they so romantic? And you’re birthday too; especially when he buys you that perfect, romantic gift. Take a breather though, girl. Just because the mood feels right, doesn’t mean lovefeels right. If you feel it suddenly coming on because you’re getting swept away in what’s happening around you, keep it in check.

Because you want to be in love

Love is great. There is no denying that. But do you know one of the biggest things that makes it so great? Truly feeling it and having someone feel it back. Love is something that happens naturally, on its own. So if you’re ready to be in love, that’s great. Just make sure you truly feel it for the person you’re saying it to.

Jess is a freelance writer and online columnist living in New York City. She recently got engaged to the man of her dreams (whom she met online, of course!) and is always eager to share her online dating tips with the world.

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