December 5th, 2013 by Len Cruz
How to Stop A Mature Man From Hitting On You Ever Again
In all fairness to you, you tried and really gave it your all to like the man on your first date, but your emotions failed you. He’s hooked on you but you are not just into him.
He keeps calling, texting and sending you private messages about your next date. How do you tell him that you’d rather see a porcupine come out of your behind than have another go with him in the least painful way possible?
Subtlety is good, but being mild and unclear is the worst way to tell him to stop flirting with you. Firmness with a heart is what you should aim for.
If you’re struggling to find the right words to do it subtly, here are some tips to let him know that he is just Peta Mellark to your Katniss Everdeen. Scratch that. He is President Snow to your Katniss Everdeen.
Don’t flirt back
We know, it can be quite tempting to flirt back especially when he’s being such a sweetheart doing it. Even if his words and gestures give you a good kind of quiver, fight the temptation to flirt back.
Man: “You have such sexy eyes. I love how much they glow when you laugh.”
Just smile and say thank you with a touch of nonchalance.
Don’t be cryptic
Being cryptic in your response will just create unnecessary mixed signals.
For example, saying something like “I’d really love to go out with you but I’m so busy right now” will be deciphered by the guy as it is. For the woman, she’s just simply being nice in turning him down. What she really means is this: “There is no chance in hell.”
Men are not as complicated as women. As opposed to women who would list down 152 possible things as to why a guy replied ‘okay’ (what’s the punctuation mark used? Period means he’s not too interested. Exclamation point means that he’s excited and wants us to go to the next level. Wait, does he mean okay okay or I-like-you okay?), men simply take things as they are.
You’ll be doing yourself and the man a favor if you’ll just tell him that you prefer someone else. You can say “Thank you for giving me this attention but I’m really not interested in taking this any further.”
You think that’s painful? Leading him on is ten times as much. Be kind.
Avoid the ‘Friend Zone’
If you have absolutely no intention of befriending him, then don’t make him think otherwise. First of all, that’s quite inappropriate because being his friend was not his intention when he asked you out. If you haven’t figured it out yet, he wants you to be his lover.
Don’t tell him “We can always be friends” unless you truly mean it. He knows that you are just saying that to lessen the pain of rejection. It’s like a guy telling you that you are slightly fat. See?
Don’t give him a list of reasons as to why you don’t like him
Just don’t! Some men will ask the reason for the rejection because they are hoping that if they could change them the woman will like them back.
The reasons will never be just as simple as not having nice teeth, a bad kiss or a terrible sense of humor. Sometimes, it’s just having no spark at all, no electricity, no fire. You can’t explain that to him. You can’t make up things either just for the sake of explaining or start with the It’s-me-not-you litany.
Be fair to him. Let him know how you truly feel. Do it in a manner that’s appropriate and not offensive but with a degree of firmness to emphasize the finality of your decision.