October 30th, 2013 by Simone Paget
14 of the Worst Sexy Halloween Costumes of 2013
If you’re anything like us and you love dressing up, you’re probably excited that Halloween is just around the corner. Halloween is a great time for singles. Costume parties and social events abound and people are in a good mood due to massive, on-going sugar highs. It’s the perfect time of the year to get out there and meet new people! However, gone are the days when a white sheet and some scissors equalled a pretty great ghost costume. As adults there seems to be a lot of pressure to make Halloween “sexy.” There is nothing wrong with amping up the sex appeal on Halloween – after all, why not? Just keep in mind that sometimes sexy costumes can go horribly, horribly wrong.
We did a bit of research and compiled a list of some of the worst sexy costumes out there. Consider this as a “what not to wear” guide for this Halloween.
1. Sexy Barney -
There’s something particularly shudder inducing about a costume that takes something you liked in preschool and makes it sexy, forever tarnishing childhood memories in the process. I actually have always found Barney on his own kind of creepy, but this…this is so much worse.
2. Sexy Pizza -
I’m not sure what to say about this, except that I’m pretty sure that whoever designed this costume was likely high on gas fumes. There is nothing sexy about pizza (delicious, yes) and that padded “crust” collar isn’t going to change my mind.
3. Sexy Clown -
Clowns aren’t sexy, they’re terrifying. This costume should come with a warning sign, “may cause nightmares.”
4. Sexy Corn -
Now here’s a “corny” costume for you (har har, see what I did there?) I really have no words for this one except “Why?”
5. Sexy Fries -
Here we have yet another fast food inspired ensemble. Looking at this costume, I can almost smell the unwashed grease trays. NOT GOOD.
6. Sexy Bacon -
Just because bacon is a delicious, magical thing, doesn’t mean you have to wear a dress made out of it. Just saying.
7. Sexy Genie -
Whereas terrible sexy women’s costumes seem to focus on either destroying childhood memories or inducing McDonald’s cravings, the men’s costumes all seem to have a different, but decidedly disturbing common theme. This costume is presented without comment. No good can come from wearing this costume. No good at all.
8. Sexy Hula Dancer -
This costume is actually pretty hot until you look down and notice that he’s wearing leg-warmers that look like they’re made of Christmas Tinsel and/or Muppet hair.
9. Sexy Salami -
Real subtle buddy. Too bad we’re no longer eating processed meats.
10. The Sexy (?) Condom -
Here’s another really subtle one. Dressing up as an extra large condom not only creates some extra large expectations, it also makes you look like an extra large douchenozzle.
11. Sexy Borat -
We’re not sure which is worse – his costume or the fact that someone would wear this costume in 2013.
12. Sexy Free Willy -
We’ll never be able to look at a whale in the same way ever again. This is one whale that we’d rather see on locked away…far, far away.
13. Sexy Pizza…again -
Seriously, enough with the pizza. Do not open this box ladies!
14. Sexy Bacon Couple -
If you’re looking for a cute couples costume this isn’t it.