Dating & Relationship Blog

October 23rd, 2013 by Simone Paget

7 Fictional Guys You Wouldn’t Want As Your Boyfriend

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There’s no doubt that the dating process can be frustrating at times, however it could be worse. You could be dating one of these fictional guys. Want to know which fictional characters would make terrible boyfriends in real life? Here’s our list -

1. Dan Humphrey (Gossip Girl) -

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Dan is the perfect example of why you should never date a guy who is still hung up on his ex…errr, step-sister. Ex-step sister? Who can keep track?! Although the “Lonely Boy” eventually chooses his one and only, for most of the series he flip flops about like a modern day Archie comic, unable to choose between his Betty (Serena), Veronica (Blair) and that chick from Josie and the Pussycats (Vanessa & everyone else) Lonely boy? More like indecisive, flighty boy who will most likely write scathing gossip behind your back.

2. Don Draper (Mad Men) -

dondraperfinale-dade0a3bbaffe2cc155ba9f0f9ac9416a08def0d-s6-c30Don Draper is very easy on the eyes and probably a great time in the sack, however actually trying to be in a relationship with him seems to be a recipe for disaster. He’ll love you, then resent you, then cheat on you, then love you again. Throw in some very serious unresolved childhood issues and the fact that whole identity swap thing and you’ve got a hot mess on your hands. The world is full of Don Drapers – beautiful men that are perfect for a fling & nothing else. Have your fun and move on.

3. Dennis Duffy  (30 Rock) -

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Dennis is the prototypical “terrible boyfriend” that we’ve all dated at one point. He’s irresponsible, selfish, calls you a horrible nickname (“Hey Dummy!”) and he just keeps coming back like a bad case of the flu. Liz Lemon doesn’t want to date Dennis, however she gives him multiple chances because hanging out with him is comfortable – that is until he tries to throw her onto the subway tracks so he can “save her” and be a hero. If any of this sounds familiar, run!

4. Kermit the Frog (The Muppets) -

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Don’t get me wrong, I love Kermit the Frog I just think he’d make a terrible boyfriend. As author and comedian Julie Klausner remarked, Kermit is like that cute skinny hipster dude that is completely oblivious to the fact that you like him because he’s too busy hanging out with his bandmates, riding his bike with his friends and devoting himself to causes (saving the Muppets from disaster time and time again.) Take a lesson from Piggy – you shouldn’t have to constantly karate chop a guy to get him to notice you. 

5. Mr. Big (Sex and the City) -

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Although we like to romanticize Carrie and Big’s relationship, this guy is a terrible boyfriend from the get go. We’ve all chased after a guy who was hopelessly unavailable. Big is basically an archetype of that guy. He’s rich and powerful but he’s also dismissive, unavailable, weird about commitment and has a difficult time sharing his feelings. Yes, he chooses Carrie in the end but only after he puts her through a lot of crap (Ie. leaving her at the alter) In real life these kinds of relationships rarely work out. Cut your losses and try dating someone who isn’t always playing Russian roulette with your heart.

6. Jimmy McNulty (The Wire) -

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We’ve all dated a Jimmy – the charming guy who (although he’s good at his job) can’t seem to get his life together. Unless your idea of a great boyfriend is guy who routinely crashes his car, hooks up with waitresses and shows up at your house drunk in the middle of the night, you might want to keep walking.

7. Walter White (Breaking Bad) -

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Walter is the kind of guy who will do anything for you – even if it means building up a multi-million methamphetamine business. He’s secretive, he’s withdrawn and he’s always lying about something. When the blood starts to shed and everything goes to hell, he’ll defend himself by saying “I did it all for you!” You and your friends will start to question your sanity. Yes, he’s devoted to you but he’s basically a non-stop time-bomb waiting to go off. Get away from him while you still can.

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Simone is a freelance writer and author of the sexy and irreverent blog Skinny Dip. When she’s not writing her heart out about everything to do with love, sex and relationships, she loves wandering her city with a large cup of coffee in hand, in search of the next great story. You can visit her blog, follow her on twitter or catch up with her on Facebook. Skinny Dip

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