October 14th, 2013 by Simone Paget

13 People Who Should Have Their Online Dating Privileges Revoked

Despite all of our advances as humans, for some reason, mastering the online dating profile continues to allude us. We can deposit our paycheck and watch TV from our smart phones, yet some people still haven’t figured out that proper spelling, a decent photo and not being creepy goes a long way in the online dating world. For those of you who are sick of all the sleazy messages and spelling mistakes that make your eyes bleed, we’ve decided to share some of the worst online dating profiles we have come across recently.

Here are 13 people who should have their online dating privileges revoked asap.

1. The guy who posted this as his user photo - 

yeah-baby

Online dating rule #1 -Your profile photos shouldn’t look like they were pulled from a police evidence locker. It looks like this guy’s idea of the perfect first date involves drugging you so he can take photos like this in front of your lifeless body. Oh yeah baby – we’re definitely staying away from this one.

2. Toilet bowl humor - 

enhanced-buzz-13203-1368004099-15

If you don’t have the common sense to know that you should never take a selfie on the toilet, you shouldn’t be online dating. NEXT!

3. Sex yes? 

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Um, we’re going to have to go with SEX NO.

4. “Rite” place, wrong time -

morning-after

This one kind of speaks for itself. The author of this craigslist ad needs to have this internet privileges revoked STAT.

5. Well, hello there - 

freaked-out

Nothing crazy about those eyes. Nope, nothing at all.

6. Mr. Bubbles - 

jacuzzi

We just threw up in our mouth a tiny bit imagining what’s under those frothy bubbles.

7. Wooing you with his words -

biscuits

Someone must have told him that talking about prostitution, STDs and bodily functions (ALL IN THE SAME PARAGRAPH) is the way to a woman’s heart.

8. UNLUCKY IN LOVE -

pittygirl

We get it – dating is hard. However, maybe the reason she’s not meeting people is because SHE TYPES LIKE SHE’S YELLING.

9. Dirtbag in disguise -

nice-guy

According to the website where this photo was found, after conducting a forensic photoshop analysis, it was determined that this guy super imposed those red roses to cover the fact that he was giving the camera the middle finger. The halo was most likely added to camouflage the fact that he’s a total dirtbag. NEXT!

10. Au natural -

42_msdrc

 

30_msdrc

 

I feel like these two guys should maybe go bowling together.

11. A neighbourly message -

neighbor_0

 

If you were looking for an excuse to move, look no further.

12. Man is in Woman, Man and Human.  

199__580x_poised2

We all want someone who is “str8 up” and will look into our eyes while saying meaningful things…or something? Bottom line: reading a dating profile shouldn’t feel like you’re trying to crack Morse code.

13. This guy.

hit

 

He also needs to stop hitting the crack pipe before sending out messages.

What do you consider an online dating profile faux pas?

Simone is a freelance writer and author of the sexy and irreverent blog Skinny Dip. When she’s not writing her heart out about everything to do with love, sex and relationships, she loves wandering her city with a large cup of coffee in hand, in search of the next great story. You can visit her blog, follow her on twitter or catch up with her on Facebook. Skinny Dip

One Response to “13 People Who Should Have Their Online Dating Privileges Revoked”

  1. October 23, 2013 at 3:21 am, DalePNW said:

    Looks to me like you could just spend a lot of time looking at profiles to get your afternoon fill of laughs.
    Its almost enough to make you want to give up the online dating thing, but I have friends who it has worked just fine for, and they’re now living with the guys, so soldier on, it can be worth the effort in the long run

    Reply

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