Tell us somebody who’s never been afraid of dating and we’ll tell you how much of a hoax he/she is.
Fear has gotten a real bad reputation for so long, to the extent that many are afraid to be afraid. A lot of mature women – no matter how confident they may appear – have a lot of fear when it comes to dating, especially those that are going back to the mature dating scene after a long hiatus.
Fear is actually a very good thing if used in a positive manner. It’s of the best ways that can propel someone to create a better life, a better relationship, and a better everything.
In line with the upcoming season of fears (Halloween), we’ve decided to tackle on the things that mature women are afraid of and the solution for each.
Fear of being undesirable
Excess skin, wrinkles, spots, flabs…the list is endless. Self-deprecating is a habit that a lot of women cannot seem to break. This is the reason for that proverbial question that pisses a lot of men: “Am I fat?” Even the most beautiful women in the world have this fear which makes this whole thing just a tad bit irrational.
Solution: Want to feel good? Do something about it! Even the littlest of effort is better than just constantly thinking about why you have bingo wings. Hit the gym, eat better, have a facial or shop for new clothes.
Fear of being used by younger men
First of all, this is profiling. Not all men who are younger than you will hurt you. A man can be a shallow a-hole at any age. Age matters in the success of a relationship, true; but, it’s not the be all and end all of every relationship. It’s just a fraction.
Solution: Focus on the personality, not his birth date. Do his views match yours? Does he treat you well? Does he make an extra effort to show you how much he truly cares? If you answer yes to all, then it’s worth giving it a try.
Fear of being bad in bed
Sex is like food, it’s highly subjective. What your previous partner thinks of your bedroom prowess will not automatically be the same with the next. Same goes for personal assessment. Your idea of you being an average lover might just be the thing that your new man craves.
Solution: Ask! You will never know what your man likes if you don’t ask. Don’t be shy to let him know what you prefer as well. This goes both ways. Sexual compatibility matters and it will only work if both of you are satisfied.
Fear of being rejected
You’ll never know this if you don’t put yourself out there. You know what? Rejection is a good thing. It is, really! Sure, it sucks in the beginning, but if you get past that sulking phase, you’ll soon realize that it’s an opportunity.
Solution: Go out on a date! If you do get rejected, keep calm and move on. Don’t waste your time wallowing on a man who doesn’t value you. Reject him too! Toss out the bad to make way for the good.
Fear of your date not being the kind of man you’re looking for
And that is why you’re dating! Dating is very much like shopping for shoes. Don’t think that a new pair will feel comfortable once they’ve been broken in. It should feel good during the first fit; if it doesn’t, go look for a new pair.
Solution: Fewer expectations, less disappointments. Just enjoy the moment, own it and let the universe take care of the rest.