October 1st, 2013 by Simone Paget

10 Things We Can Learn From Horrible Online Dating Photos

Oh, terrible online dating photos – how we love to laugh at you! Despite the plethora of great dating articles out there, people still insist on posting ridiculous things in their dating profiles. Here’s a few of our favourite terrible online dating photos and what we can learn from them.

1.  The Drunken Porn Star.

nude-wine

 

So, you decided to take a “wine break” whilst filming a DIY adult movie in your parent’s wood panelled basement. I’d be lying if I said I never enjoyed a bottle of $3 Traders Joe wine all to myself – who hasn’t?  However, there is no need to share those kinds of past sins (even jokingly) in your online dating profile. Put on some clothes! No one needs to see that buddy.

Same goes for this guy…

wiener-bottle-1

2. Hannibal Dater.

creepy

Oh no, there’s nothing creepy about this guy…nothing at all. 

I think this one speaks for itself. Shudder.

3.  The Comedian.

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Mentioning womens body parts (even favourably) in your online dating profile is just well, creepy. A “haha” or “lol” here and there is perfectly acceptable, however this guy has clearly been watching too much Beavis and Butthead because haha ha ha ha ha everything is hahaha ha hilarious. Haha, guess what? Ha ha ha ha ha ha we’re not dating you ha ha ha ha ha.

4. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Weirdo.

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Right, because the first thing we aren’t going to notice is that you’re giving us a full view of your junk while dressed in a skin tight Spiderman costume…and don’t even get me started on the camera or the pillar.

I think Tyra Banks would agree that “crouching” is no one’s best angle. I think this guy missed the memo –

posture

5.  A Kool Guy.

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When selecting photos to include in your profile, it’s always good to go for a variety of different poses/settings – especially if your “just being me” face looks identical to your “kool face.”

6. Background Check.

garbage

Perform a “background check” on yourself. When selecting a backdrop for your online dating photos, don’t choose something that looks like a screen cap from an audition tape for the show “Hoarders.”

7. Unfaithfully yours.

wedding-ring

If you’re married and cruising online dating websites, at least have the smarts to remove your wedding ring…or you know, don’t go on online dating sites!

8. CHAZ IZ PUFFY.

chaz

We’re guessing cool Chaz recently came in contact with a feline.

9. Go easy on the Photoshop.

cistine

Photoshopping yourself to the point where you look like a totally different person or inserting yourself into priceless pieces of art is a no-no.

10. The Man with No Face.

drone-head

 

If this is your only photo, you’re doing it wrong.

Simone is a freelance writer and author of the sexy and irreverent blog Skinny Dip. When she’s not writing her heart out about everything to do with love, sex and relationships, she loves wandering her city with a large cup of coffee in hand, in search of the next great story. You can visit her blog, follow her on twitter or catch up with her on Facebook. Skinny Dip

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