As the saying goes, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new!
That statement always seemed to resonate and make sense to me, but it was never something I tried out per say. And I also didn’t take it quite so literally. Getting over someone could be done by meeting, dating, kissing someone, it most certainly didn’t necessarily mean falling into bed with them. I have plenty of friends who were able to swing from person to person, relationship to relationship effortlessly and while once devastated and broken hearted, they moved on quickly by dating other men. But while there was a part of me that understood why they did it, there was also part of me that was hesitant in thinking it could work.
Enter in an unexpected, life-changing, hurtful break up. It came out of the blue, and there was no closure. Homeboy disappeared. Wouldn’t call me back, respond to my emails, literally nothing. Granted we’d been dating for about seven months, and weren’t serious-serious, but he was my man…or so I thought. I was confused and hurt and totally focused on figuring out what the heck just happened. The short and the long is that I wasn’t thinking about moving on, which now in hindsight, was exactly what I should have been doing. Forgetting the creep and meeting someone better!! So for months I wallowed, I felt betrayed and sad.
Then, once it finally became clear he was long gone, I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. That is until I met Alexander. He was a friend of a friend. I knew him but never thought much of him, especially because I was so wrapped up in my saga with Mr. Runaway. One night he kissed me. I was a little caught off guard, but more than anything I couldn’t believe how easy this felt. Hello? Why on earth was I hung up on this guy who clearly cared so little about me, when there were lots of new prospects. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend, I was just trying to move on.
So Alexander and I began to get drinks after work, see movies, hang out. He was funny and probably someone I would never have considered dating before. But as the days turned into weeks, I found a new sense of balance in my life. Mr. Runaway was history. Alexander was a great transition into leaving behind a person who I could have let drag me down and have more control than anyone besides me should have over my life. We definitely had our fun during our fling and he made me realize that moving on is a much better alternative to wasting time and energy on something that is the past.
Its in the past for a good reason, even though that can be hard to see or accept at the time, and you don’t always have to be on the look out for Mr. Right, Mr. Good Enough For Right Now, will do just fine sometimes too.